I'm Here for You

Writers: Devin, Halyonix
Date Posted: 17th December 2024
Series: Bronze and Blue Entwined

Characters: K'mai, I'serin
Description: K'mai comes to I'serin after the tragedy at Barrier Lake
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr, Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 2, day 7 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned: Riyanth, N'vanik
Occurs during "A Night to Remember"

K'mai

I'serin

Barrier Lake certainly knew how to throw a party, and K'mai had spent the evening drinking, dancing, talking, and catching up with friends. Not for the first time, he considered transferring to the new Weyr, but despite the abominable weather, he'd settled in at Dragonsfall.

He was dancing with a very athletic female Smith and pondering if he should suggest going to her room when the keening of dragons cut through the night like a bucket of cold water to the face. K'mai staggered as Sebeth's grief filled him.

}:Riyanth . . . their Queen has gone.:{

A Senior Queen dying suddenly. Dragons keening. Vilarth was dead, his _friend_ was dead and people were panicking all around him. The earth shaking and rocks falling as his home came crashing down . . .

K'mai fell, but strong arms caught him, held him up. "What's happening?" The voice sounded like it was coming from deep under water. He could barely breathe.

}:We are safe, we are safe.:{ Mindvoice heavy with mourning but fierce with love, Sebeth anchored his rider. }:We have lost a Queen but the ground does not shake. You see the past.:{ A past the blue didn't remember except when his rider did.

"Hey . . . hey are you okay?"

Reality slowly came back. He was sitting at one of the tables next to the hot Smith. She pressed a glass of water into his hand and he drank mechanically. "The Queen . . ." he managed.

She nodded. "They're saying Riyanth died but it doesn't make any sense."

The walls of his destroyed home threatened to close in around him. "I need to leave." He should check on his friends, make sure there wasn't something worse happening, offer to help. But it was all too much. He managed to get to his feet and thank her.

Sebeth landed in the crowded Bowl and shoved his way through to his rider. K'mai clung to his dragon for a moment, steadying himself in the present, before he clambered up to strap himself in. The rush of air as they took off cleared his head a little. **Let's go home . . .** For a moment, he pictured River Bluff Weyr as it had been, the place where he'd been born, the place where he'd Impressed, where he'd lived all his life until suddenly it was gone.

Then K'mai shook his head and called up the image of Dragonsfall. **_Home_**

He really didn't know why he directed Sebeth to the Weyrleader's weyr. He had a million friends, many of them fellow River Bluff refugees, who would welcome him and sympathize. But for some reason he wanted I'serin. Even when Aluenth told Sebeth the Weyrleader was busy, K'mai stayed out on the ledge, huddled against his dragon, and waited.

Aluneth had wisely waited until I'serin was finished handling the more pressing issue of information and security -- making certain that Dragonsfall Weyr was accounted for and protected -- before alerting him to K'mai waiting for him at his weyr. So far, a greater duty to the Weyr had kept I'serin from falling into a traumatic response, but he was certain that would not last. Still, it was that same sense of duty, an overwhelming feeling that he had to take care of his own -- whatever and whoever that entailed -- that caused him to grip K'mai's arm supportively. "Come inside," he said in low, commanding tone, because he knew, he _knew_ what it felt like to the other survivors right now, and if anyone decided to question him then about why, I'serin, nearing his own breaking point, would not hold back.

N'vanik had gifted I'serin with a bottle of rum as a congratulatory gift for becoming Weyrleader. It seemed that bottle was going to be put to thorough use tonight.

K'mai followed wordlessly and waited until they were safely inside the weyr. Then he put his arms around I'serin, holding him almost desperately. "I'm sorry . . . I just wanted . . ." His throat was thick and the horror of it washed over him again. "I was there. I was there when it happened . . ." A sob escaped him and he couldn't hold back the flood. I'serin wrapped his arms tightly around K'mai and let him cry.

"There is no need to apologize," he whispered eventually. K'mai had been there for him when he had needed it after I'lon's death. They were friends first, something with benefits second. And, regardless, I'serin did not want K'mai to ever think that he could not come to I'serin for help. So he held K'mai for as long as he needed.

He didn't know how long he stood there sobbing against I'serin's shoulder, but eventually the worst of it passed. "Thank you." He squeezed I'serin and then took a step back. "We should sit." He still felt shaky and he was a tiny bit unsteady as he made his way toward the couch. I'serin followed him mutely, made sure that he was seated, and then went to his liquor cabinet to pour two strong drinks.

"Drink," he said with none of the command that usually marked his tone as he sat down next to the bluerider. His free hand gripped one of K'mai's, his thumb rubbing encouragingly. "And tell me what you saw."

K'mai took a long swallow, the burn of the alcohol helping to ground him, and gently squeezed I'serin's hand. "I didn't see Riyanth go, I only felt it through Sebeth. People were shocked, panicking." He closed his eyes against the rising tide of emotion. "It . . . it made me think of River Bluff." Sebeth filled his mind, the blue's presence warm and steady, just as I'serin was warm and steady beside him.

It did indeed feel like River Bluff, I'serin agreed. He felt Aluneth press solidly against his mind, grounding him further. "It will be a long night for us all," the bronzerider said with the grave knowledge of previous experience. "Aluneth has been speaking with the other bronzes and queens, attempting to create organization from chaos. But...you and I both know that..." I'serin paused, that old River Bluff wound feeling heavy and weeping within him. "There are moments that cannot be reordered. Restored. They are simply rended. Riven. There is no returning to what was."

He paused to lift K'mai's hand to his mouth for a kiss. "Sebeth is with you. As am I," he quietly reminded the bluerider.

A fierce need rose in K'mai, but it had nothing to do with sex. "I'm here for you, too. If you need to talk about what happened at Barrier Lake, or . . . or River Bluff, or the pressures of being Weyrleader. I won't judge you or think you're weak. Let me take care of you the way you're taking care of me." He kissed I'serin's hand, a mirror of what the bronzerider had just done. "Please."

"I know that you will not see me as weak," I'serin answered. He gently brushed his hand through K'mai's shaggy hair. "You give me care in other ways. More than I had expected. Do not worry. I burden you with enough of my issues." He smiled softly as his hand returned to being interlaced with K'mai's.

"No, really." K'mai sat up straighter. "I get the feeling that you don't really have anyone to talk to. You carry so much . . . Please, I _want_ you to lean on me." K'mai had so many friends, so many people he could talk to, and I'serin was always hanging around the edges, not quite remote but still set apart. He looked down at their entwined hands. "You're not too much," he said quietly. He wasn't sure where all this was coming from, but what happened at Barrier Lake had left him so raw.

To answer that, I'serin leaned foward to gently kiss K'mai's forehead and then leaned his forehead against the place where his lips had just been. The normally articulate bronzerider fell silent for a long moment, a dozen answers colliding within his mind, and none of them adequately capturing the moment. He could sweep his feelings under a rug and say whatever he felt K'mai needed to hear. He could drown them both in a small book of words (and quite possibly still not say the right thing). He could remain silent (which he did) and say nothing to any of it (which he would not).

Eventually, I'serin made a decision. "Stay the night with me." Whether sex came of it or not, they both needed comfort after what happened and I'serin was too heart-weary to think ahead to anyone possibly questioning him.

"Yes." The words were out of K'mai's mouth before he could think. It was more than he had hoped. He'd been planning to ask if he could stay a candlemark or two, just being close. He'd been stroking himself to thoughts of I'serin for days but right now all he wanted was to not be alone, to be held and fall asleep in I'serin's arms. K'mai looked up at I'serin with a half-smile, a little bit of light returning to his eyes. "I won't tell anyone we shared the bed."

A tendril of panic tried to worm its way into his mind at the thought of anyone finding them together like that. Before it could find more footing, there was a rumble from the outer ledge and all of the light from outside disappeared.

Aluneth, physically blocking the door, shielding them from possible discovery. Because, aside from a queen, who would dare tell a bronze dragon to move?

I'serin sighed his tired gratitude towards his lifemate.

He downed the rest of his drink and rose from the couch. "Come," he said softly, urging K'mai up. "You get settled. I have a few more messages to be sent. I will join you soon."

The panic tried to rise again and K'mai fought it down. I'serin had duties, and K'mai could manage alone until he returned. His gaze wanted to drift to the bottle, but instead he stood and kissed I'serin's cheek. "Thank you." The words weren't adequate for what he felt.

}:May I stay too, Aluneth?:{ Sebeth lingered on the ledge, dark blue hide tinged with gray.

}: Of course, :{ Aluneth answered as he shifted so that Sebeth had room.

For the next half an hour, I'serin paced slowly near the bulk of the two dragons, his eyes closed in thought as he and Aluneth relayed orders and decided the course of the Weyr. By the time they were done, I'serin wanted nothing more than to let the numbing power of alcohol pull him into sleep. He disrobed and slipped into his bed, sliding one arm around K'mai's middle protectively, comfortingly.

K'mai welcomed him with a soft smile and a brief kiss. He wrapped an arm around I'serin as well and tucked himself against I'serin's body. A small, nagging thought asked why he'd come _here_ of all places. A large shadow loomed in his mind, tragedies both past and present weighing on him. But I'serin had let him stay, despite the risk. If K'mai woke with nightmares, I'serin would be there to soothe him.

Sebeth curled tight against Aluneth, as if the powerful bronze could shield him from further tragedy. Eventually, everyone fell into an exhausted sleep. Whatever came the next morning would have to wait.

Last updated on the January 1st 2025

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