A Forbidden Kiss (5/6)

Writers: Devin, Halyonix
Date Posted: 11th February 2025
Series: Bronze and Blue Entwined

Characters: K'mai, I'serin
Description: The morning after the kiss in the flightroom, I'serin is finally willing to speak with K'mai.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 5, day 11 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned: H'run

K'mai

I'serin

}: You need to speak with K'mai, :{ Aluneth said as I'serin was
leaving the Dining Hall.

Blowing on his klah to cool it, I'serin unhappily answered with, **I
am aware. I will speak to him tom--**

}: I'serin, if I have to tell Sebeth to cease and desist in his
nagging over this issue one more time... :{

The Weyrleader stopped. Caught between irritation for Aluneth,
surprise at his dragon's sharp tone, and the shifting realization that
he had just _assumed_ K'mai would...well, what he had assumed that
K'mai would do? Simply shrug the matter off? Yes and no. Except that
it had fallen on the "no" side of the mark and I'serin could either
make up an excuse to stall the matter further or see to his...friend.

The klah burned his tongue even as he said, **He can meet me in my
office. He has one candlemark of my time.** I'serin was not certain if
he should be armoring up for this talk or not but he would very
quickly find out.

Dread pooled in K'mai's stomach even as a spark of hope lit in his
chest. At least I'serin was going to _talk_ to him. And if nothing
else . . . K'mai could apologize and try to accept whatever decision
I'serin made. Unlike most other times K'mai came to I'serin's office,
he knocked and waited for permission, head down and heart pounding.

"Enter," I'serin answered automatically, having engrossed himself in
_some_ paperwork on his desk, just to distract himself from...well, it
was not going to work anyway. He looked up as K'mai entered, his
insides doing that strange combination of panic and excitement, and he
quickly tampered it all down because he was about to do what he did
best when it came to public incidents involving his sexuality:
suppress and run.

And yet...

I'serin sighed. Hung his head. "K'mai," he said, sounding...disappointed?

K'mai made sure the door was firmly closed, forced himself to walk all
the way to the desk before saying anything. He had to swallow hard
against the thickness in his throat. "I'm sorry. I'serin, I'm so
sorry, I didn't mean to . . ." He clenched his fists, fighting off
tears. If this was over it was his fault and he had to accept that.
**Obviously in love,** H'run's voice whispered in his mind.

"I know you might not believe me but I would nev--" His voice broke
and he took a shuddering breath, meeting I'serin's eyes. "I would
never hurt you deliberately."

"I know," the bronzerider said simply. Forgivingly. He exhaled softly
again. It was such a mess, holding on to his fears like this and
yet...letting go of them, when he was already under such public
scrutiny, seemed like an even worse idea still. "I know you...you were
not yourself then. I was not myself either. The actions that happen
during a mating flight can be...forgiven. Forgotten." Usually. The
Weyr was all about fluid relationships. Weyrmates whose dragon caught
another one during a mating flight did not consider that a breach of
their love. And why should it matter who I'serin slept with? Other
bronzeriders were encouraged to sleep with as many or as few women as
they wanted.

I'serin sighed again, because he knew the difference between himself
and those other bronzeriders. At some point, he was going to have to
stop beating himself up over this.

But for now, he had to repair what had been broken with K'mai.

"Come here," he said, standing just to the side of his desk with his
arms open a little, inviting the bluerider in for a hug.

The relief was overwhelming. K'mai nearly ran to him and clung tight
to I'serin, hot tears spilling down his cheeks. "I thought I ruined
everything. I'll fix it, I'll fix it, I promise." How could I'serin be
so sweet after what he'd done? "Tell them it was all me, that you
didn't want it. You were just confused for a minute, that's all. You
can . . . punish me." He'd meant it as a public way to show I'serin
was mad at K'mai, but as soon as the words were out of his mouth a
little shiver went through him. **No,** he scolded himself. His
terrible dirty mind. **Don't even think about it. This is serious, you
hurt him.**

"I will not punish you," I'serin assured him with a tired sigh.
"You...did nothing wrong." With any luck, the rumor mill would quell
itself as it always did. I'serin had far greater problems to deal with
than worry about what some chatty greens might say one day and then
forget the next.

And then, surprisingly, a voice that sounded like I'serin but darker,
more polished, could be heard by K'mai and his rider both. }: If
anything, the fault is mine. I did not fully consider the
implications, :{ Aluneth admitted. Then, privately to his rider, he
grumpily added, }: Though I am certain that I could find a way to pin
this on Sebeth somehow. :{

K'mai's eyes widened. When he recovered from the surprise of hearing
another dragon in his head, and _Aluneth_ at that, he said, "No, it
was my fault. Even it was an accident, I betrayed your trust." He
squeezed I'serin's hand. "Oh shards, now I feel awful because I'm
making this all about me and my feelings. _You're_ the one who was
hurt."

}:Mine says thank you for the honor of speaking to him,:{ Sebeth said,
feeling much better now that his rider was less upset. }:I am glad
they are fixing this. Last night was very bad.:{

I'serin moved to cover both of K'mai's hands with his own. "Accidents
happen," he said. "It was not int---" He paused because he was about
to say something incorrect and then caught himself. "It was
intentional, in a way, but it was not malicious. If that makes sense."
It was the lack of malice that allowed I'serin to forgive K'mai for
just being himself. "We will just...be more careful in the future," he
decided. The Weyr knew that they were friends and there was nothing
wrong with that. And until I'serin figured a way to dismantle his
issues -- while fixing all of the larger problems being laid at his
feet --, they would have to keep the Weyr thinking that.

"I'll keep you safe, I promise." After all the fear and guilt of
yesterday and the long, long night, K'mai felt shaky with relief.
I'serin had forgiven him and things could go back to the way they'd
been. They just had to be more careful, like I'serin said. He rubbed
his thumbs over I'serin's hands. "You're very important to me." It was
strange to think they'd known each other all their lives, and now in
the span of a few months I'serin had become one of his closest
friends.

**Obviously in love,** H'run's voice said. K'mai shoved the thought
away. It kept popping up like a firelizard that wouldn't stop going
after a plate of food.

Hearing that stirred something warm in I'serin's worrisome heart. "You
are important to me as well," he replied. He released K'mai's hands
after a gentle squeeze. As he went back to his desk, he was rubbing
his forehead in thought. "I may be a bit busier than usual in the
coming few days. These floods..." He trailed off, his eyes falling
upon a note on his desk. One of many that was starting their own
little pile of doom.

"Let me know if I can help." That was something K'mai could do.
Sweeprides, rescuing people, ferrying supplies . . . and maybe it
would take a tiny bit of burden off the Weyrleader's shoulders.

"I shall," I'serin assured him. He looked down at his desk, thinking
about how to handle this growing problem, but drew his attention back
to K'mai. "In two sevendays," he said cryptically. A weak smile
escaped the left side of his mouth.

That seemed like a very long time when all K'mai wanted to do was kiss
him, take him to bed, show him how much . . . "Okay." It was enough,
more than enough, that I'serin hadn't rejected him. And K'mai could
never come first, not a for Weyrleader, especially when he had to
worry about flooding on top of the demands of fighting Thread. That
little smile on the bronzerider's face made him remember that 'two
sevendays' had been what he'd said that first time, after he'd woken
in K'mai's bed and explained about his sexuality. "I'll be waiting . .
. and thinking of you." A slow smile spread across K'mai's face, eyes
dark with wicked promise. He was rewarded with a creeping blush to the
Weyrleader's cheeks.

I'serin cleared his throat awkwardly and made a shooing motion at K'mai.

That blush made him want I'serin all the more, but it was so wonderful
to have things go back to the way they'd been that K'mai laughed. He
had just enough presence of mind to remember he was supposed to be in
trouble and he schooled his expression right before he stepped out the
door.

Last updated on the February 18th 2025

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