Chose to Live

Writers: Devin, Len
Date Posted: 18th March 2025

Characters: Talryne, Sh'del
Description: Old friends Talryne and Sh’del have a drink and talk about weyrlings and what they’ve lost
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 3, day 24 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned: C’pier, N’vanik, R’lor, Saedyna, B’lyse, L’fael, J’lor, C’rand, Cyradis, Briata, Kapera

Talryne

"Are you going to be bored now that the weyrlings have graduated?"
Talryne asked as she tucked her feet under her on the couch.

"Me?" Sh'del put his wine glass down and gave her a weary grin.
"Boredom sounds like a beautiful luxury that I've dreamt of for months
now." Flopped between the two old friends was Trouble, sprawled out on
her back, snoring loudly. "I'm ready to join her for days and days.
Never again do I want a weyrling like some of the ones we've had to
deal with. I was pretty sure myself or one of the 'lors was going to
end up with the mind healers."

"Was it really that bad?" Talryne knew all about N'vanik's fury and
pain over C'pier and that the brownrider's victim had Impressed in the
class he had to repeat as punishment. "I heard things from N'vanik but
you were the one dealing with it every day."

"Actually, C'pier wasn't so bad. I just wish we could have gotten
through to him, but he was intent on punishing himself. I don't know
if I would put him in a wing, I can see him actively trying to kill
him and his dragon in a 'Fall, acting like he's being noble about it
all, but causing a lot of pain and destruction." He threw his hand up
in the air. "I'd talk to N'vanik about it but it's R'lor's call at the
end of the day. He knows how I feel about it. But he's still too
nervous about rank and not on being partners." He sighed deeply and
gave Talryne a sad look. "I really miss E'ril. It was nice having
someone who was also a friend. L'pin too. Rank didn't seem to matter
back in those days."

Talryne nodded. "I liked L'pin." She took a sip of her wine. "N'vanik
is still furious at C'pier. For what he did, for lying about it."
She'd been there when the Weyrleader broke down, thinking there was
another attacker in the Weyr. "But putting him in the Wings isn't
meant to be a punishment."

"Oh, I get that, but I don't think he has any business in a wing yet.
I'd pop his arse onto transfer duties for the next two Turns if it was
up to me. That'd either straighten him out or exhaust him to the point
where he can't overthink things. I just don't think he's healed up
here." He tapped the side of Trouble's head, and smiled tenderly for a
moment, watching his pet sleep. "I don't know, I'm just afraid for him
and his brown, who's the loveliest dragon you could ask for..." His
voice trailed off, aware that he shouldn't speak more of what he
feared would happen to that pair to Talryne. The last thing she needed
was to be reminded of her loss.

"Maybe his dragon needs to do what he was meant to do," Talryne said.
She did feel bad for the brown and couldn't understand why he'd chosen
C'pier, but no one understood why a dragon chose its rider.

"Maybe...but it's his rider's mental
outlook in life that keeps me up at night."

"He tried to _kill_ someone," Talryne said. "I'm not saying I want him
dead, but maybe you should worry more about people who didn't beat a
helpless girl and leave her for dead and then claim to be a victim."
She'd like to beat C'pier for how he made N'vanik feel.

“That’s the thing, Tal.” Sh’del sat up and looked at her, “Going after
that girl…it makes_no_sense. It’s something a person not right at all
in the head does. Nothing he says about it makes any sense at all.
Protecting Blue by hurting that girl?” He shook his head and leaned
back into the sofa. “And then just up and acting like some hurt kid
that deserves to die…”

"Well, he's someone else's problem now." Talryne didn't want to talk
about C'pier. She'd never met him, thankfully, and everything she knew
about him was second hand, mostly through N'vanik. Thinking about the
young brownrider just made her angry at how he'd made N'vanik feel.
"Are there any weyrlings you _did_ like?"

“Oh yeah, most of them! I enjoyed Saedyna, she’s a bright young thing,
she has a lot of potential. Same for C’rand, he’s got a steady head on
his shoulders, he’ll make a fine leader one day. B’lyse too, he’s a
sweet kid, same for L’fael, though it could be slightly disturbing
when your own dragon is busy talking to someone else in the middle of
a lesson.” He laughed at the memories. “That took a bit of getting
used to, for us and the other weyrlings.”

"Do you know Briata? She can hear dragons too," Talryne asked.

"Yeah, I quite like Briata. I've pushed L'fael off onto Cyradis now
anyhoo, keep him and Sojanth safe and let her figure out how best to
use his talents." He stopped to take a sip of the wine whilst it was
still cold. "But enough of the weyrlings, how have you been?"

"Okay." She frowned thoughtfully. "With what happened to Kapera, it
brought up everything and it . . . it's worse, but somehow it's also
better, too." She was having more bad moments than she'd had in Turns,
but she pulled out of them sooner and easier. And in her better
moments she had a sense of strength, knowing that she'd survived and
built a life despite everything.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sh’del asked her in a gentle tone.
Trouble popped awake at her person’s concern and crooned at Talryne,
her bright eyes whirling with worry.

Talryne absently patted the firelizard. "Looking at her is like seeing
how I used to be. But I also know how far I've come, that I don't
regret choosing to live."

“We’re glad you chose to live, though I know it’s a hard choice.”
Trouble echoed the sentiments, rubbing her head against Tal’s hand.
Sh’del leaned forward and topped her wine glass. “I’m not sure I could
be as brave.”

"It didn't _feel_ brave at the time." She took a drink and went back
to stroking warm, soft hide. "I wanted to . . . at least _part_ of me
wanted to hurt. To punish myself for killing my dragon."

Sh’del had no words for that. Instead he reached over and gently
squeezed her hand. No one thought she had killed her dragon. “So many
died those first Turns,” he said in a low voice, thinking back to his
own pain, back to the loss of his first lover in that first, terrible
Turn. Outside, Loranth have a soft croon which Trouble repeated.

"I know," she said quietly. "And we cope however we can."

"To us." Sh'del tipped his glass so it lightly touched Tal's and then
took a drink. "The pain never gets smaller, we just learn to grow
around it."

She supposed that was true. Talryne took a drink and tried to focus on
the flavor of the wine. Alive. She was still alive.

Last updated on the March 19th 2025

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Chose to Live