To Feel Alive (PG-17)

Writers: Devin
Date Posted: 9th April 2025

Characters: N'vanik, Talryne
Description: After visiting Barrier Lake, N’vanik and Talryne seek comfort in each other.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 2, day 8 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned: A’kades, Kapera
Follows “Waiting”. PG-17 just to be safe.
Rating: PG-17

N'vanik

Talryne

As soon as they got back to Dolphin Cove, N’vanik and Talryne gave
Loseth a bath. Since he was also still covered in crackdust and
firestone, N’vanik stripped down and washed himself next to his
dragon. He left Talryne and a few weyrbrats to finish cleaning the
bronze and had a brief meeting with A’kades. The Weyrsecond gave him
the post-Threadfall report and N’vanik shared what he’d learned at
Barrier Lake.

Then he cleared the rest of his day and went to his weyr, where
Talryne was waiting. N’vanik pulled her into a tight hug and asked,
“What do you need?”

There were dark memories and fresh pain in her eyes. “To feel alive.”
The empty place where her dragon had been would never be filled, but
at least she could feel a little less alone. She could be reminded
that life was more than a dark void and an echoing silence in her
mind.

}:I’m here.:{ Loseth’s deep voice pushed back that terrible loneliness
just a little.

“Okay.” N’vanik traced a thumb along her jaw and bent to kiss her. He
tried to pour all his love into it, to ground her in the here and now,
with him.

Clothing came off piece by piece as they kept kissing and touching,
intense but slow. They reached the bed and sat holding each other,
skin to skin, lips pressed together and tongues entwined. It was less
about a prelude to sex than being as close as possible. N’vanik wanted
to climb inside her heart and ease all her pain.

Kapera had looked so small and frail and empty. Talryne knew she’d
looked like that once, half of her ripped away and a husk left behind.
But she’d chosen to live, and she chose it still. To get up each day
and face a world where she would never be whole again, but also a
world where she’d still found happiness, and laughter, and a craft
that made her feel useful. And love. The deep devotion of the man in
her arms, who’d cared for her in the darkest time of her life and
helped her to feel again.

N’vanik always took care of her. He was ignoring his duties to be with
her, and while that gave her a twinge of guilt, she _needed_ him now.
Seeing Kapera, knowing what she’d been through and knowing it would be
so much worse when she woke up . . . _if_ she woke up.

Talryne clung tighter to N’vanik, kissed him deeper. He responded with
the same intensity, trying not to be afraid that this would break her.
She was stronger than that. Out of the deepest, darkest pit, she’d
built a life, piece by fragile piece, until it was solid and stable.
Most people thought a dragonless rider’s life was nothing more than a
house of cards, ready to collapse at the faintest breeze. But Talryne
was as strong as steel.

He brushed her long, dark hair aside and kissed along her neck, the
fast beat of her pulse against his lips. “I want you,” he murmured
against her skin. “I need you.”

She shivered and dug her fingers into his hair. Those words held so
much meaning. In the early months after her dragon’s death, she’d been
so worried N’vanik would get tired of her and leave. And yet here they
were, eight Turns later, through ups and downs and N’vanik having
other relationships. They were a steady presence in each other’s
lives, and maybe it was a little unhealthy how much they needed each
other, but they were happy and made each other stronger.

His lips moved lower and he slid one hand up her thigh. Her skin
heated and her body tightened with anticipation. “Yes, make me feel,”
Talryne said. “Make me _feel_.” She’d done too much thinking about her
loss today. She needed to remember that she was more than the
irreparable hole inside her. She was alive, and it was _good_ to be
alive.

Last updated on the April 22nd 2025

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To Feel Alive (PG-17)