Queerleaders

Writers: Devin, Halyonix
Date Posted: 17th October 2025

Characters: N'vanik, I'serin
Description: Two very different Weyrleaders talk on the beach about their sexuality and their lovers.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 10, day 17 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned: K'mai, Z'kim, Cyradis, Talryne, Saibra, R'enh, T'mhas, D'hol
Sorry not sorry about the title.

N'vanik

I'serin

After the worst of his hangover had subsided, N'vanik had arranged for a meeting with I'serin the following day. He chose an isolated stretch of beach down the coast from Dolphin Cove to ensure privacy. Arriving a little early, he set out a blanket and a large umbrella for shade, plus a basket of food, some wine, and rum in case I'serin needed some liquid courage. I'serin and K'mai, he still couldn't believe it. Shards, right under his nose! N'vanik laughed as he settled down to wait for his fellow Weyrleader.

Aluneth bugled a stentorian welcome to Loseth as he appeared. I'serin took a look at the setup and his expression turned curiously confused. It made practical sense -- the shade, the blanket -- but the other Weyrleader had not expected...well, what looked like a picnic. "I see that we will be here for a few hours," I'serin said as he approached, a politely inquisitive smile on his face.

N'vanik laughed. "Well, I don't know how long we'll be here but I wanted us to be comfortable. I have a lot of questions."

There was a contemplative pause from the other bronzerider as he pieced together recent events and probable related context. "As do I," he admitted as he sat. "Where would you like to begin?" His gaze fell on the basket of food and, after a quick look at N'vanik for assumed permission, he helped himself to a snack and a small cup of wine.

"I don't even know." N'vanik tried to sort through it all, then he smirked as a good one occurred to him. "Did you get involved with K'mai before or after he kissed you in the flight room?"

I'serin did not quite choke on his bite of food but it was a near thing.

"Before," he coughed out once he had recovered. "I...well. I suppose I should start at the beginning." He wound through a summary of how he had been attracted to men -- and K'mai -- for Turns but had not even begun to allow himself that expression until that first drunken night after he became Weyrleader. How it had just...continued...into something that he could not put back into its proper bottle despite his panic over others knowing but how he was slowly seeing how better off he was being with K'mai. "Though, I am curious about how your heard about the flight room," he ended.

"Zeke told me. After he talked with K'mai at Panitath and Loseth's Hatching, he suspected K'mai had a crush on a bronzerider, so he went digging." N'vanik smiled. "There are times I think that man should've been a harper. But neither of us thought you returned the feelings, that the poor guy was just pining after you and looking for some hope." He shook his head, smiling at how wrong they'd been. "So you've always been into men?"

Looking out over the waves, the younger Weyrleader nodded. "I initially thought it was a phase. As most weyrbrats do. Sexuality at the Weyr is more fluid. We are free to explore. But...my father made it clear that anything more than a phase was...unacceptable." And with that came Turns of repression and hiding. I'serin turned his gaze to N'vanik. "And you?"

N'vanik laughed and ran a hand through his hair. "No." Looking out over the water, he said, "I sometimes mess around after a flight, but it's . . . leftover dragonlust and a warm body next to me, and if I think too much about it being a man, I . . . can't." The corner of his mouth turned up and a little huff of amusement escaped him. "And then there's Zeke." He tried to explain what happened after their flights, how his desire flared and then faded just as quickly. How he'd tried, and failed, to make that desire happen other circumstances. And then how things had changed back in Month 1. "I don't know why, I can't explain it. It's like that door in my head is always open now, or maybe the door is gone and whatever was behind it is just . . . free. It's still just Zeke, though." Another little amused huff. "So far."

I'serin looked back over the water with a small smile lifting the left corner of his mouth. "Sometimes, all it takes is one person." Yes, he was attracted to men but he did not want them. He wanted K'mai. He took a small sip of wine as he asked, "And Talryne is...amenable to this arrangement?"

This time laughter bubbled out of N'vanik, a slight blush rising to his cheeks. "She, uh, joins us sometimes."

Surprise showed in I'serin's hazel eyes. He cleared his throat softly. "Good," he replied lamely, still processing this new information about his friend. "Weyrwoman Saibra, ah, does _not_ join us. Nor does anyone else." I'serin felt that he was going to draw a very hard line on that for a bit as he adjusted to his freed self. "Though the Weyrwoman knows and supports us. Does...your Weyrwoman know?" Cyradis had to. The bigger question was whether or not N'vanik had her support as well.

"Well, everybody knows now. She's not mad, if you're worried about that. And she's _definitely_ not the type to join us. She's always been fine with sharing, just . . . separately." She'd had a weyrmate for Turns, and spent a few nights with D'hol, and none of that bothered N'vanik either.

The other Weyrleader nodded as he processed this information. "It is good then that we both have strong professional relationships with our Weyrwomen," he remarked, thinking of how well he and Saibra worked together. "I will admit that I...did not expect her support when I told her. I...was raised to believe that goldriders would...not accept someone like me. Us."

"Me and Cyradis had a rocky start. _Very_ rocky, but we've gotten to a place where we're honest with each other. Understand each other." N'vanik shifted. "I was holdbred, so . . ." He'd heard terrible things about men who liked other men, and the kinds of things that went on at the Weyrs. "I reacted pretty badly the first time I woke up with a male greenrider. Had to assert the fact that I was a bronzerider, that I only liked women, that I didn't enjoy it, all of that. Thank Faranth I pulled my head out of my ass and got over it quickly."

I'serin looked out over the waves again. "I...forbade Aluneth to chase greens in order to avoid that scenario. I did not want to..."

}: I did not want silly greens anyway, :{ Aluneth remarked in between.

I'serin exhaled softly. "I did not want to pretend that I was interested in women while also trying to conceal that I was interested in men. So, Aluneth and I only focused on golds. It...was the safest of assumptions to let others have."

N'vanik sucked in a breath. "You kept him from flights? Shards, I hardly ever hold Loseth back. I take him away for junior golds so he doesn't overpopulate the Weyr, but I let him chase almost any green he wants." He couldn't imagine holding his dragon back more than that. "No women for you? At all?"

I'serin shook his head. "Aluneth and I were of one mind. Neither of us are...wanton, I suppose. We have always been selective. So long as he was allowed to chase any gold he desired, he respected my wishes."

N'vanik snorted. "Well I guess I am wanton. Loseth chases a lot of greens, and we both love winning. And I've always bedded lots of women. Bronzerider stereotype in a lot of ways."

The other Weyrleader tilted his head but allowed his expression to show a smile. "To each their own, understandably. Regardless of how we began, we are here now, in different places." He softly exhaled before adding, "As more of ourselves as well." _That_ felt good to say. The panic that I'serin thought he would feel over N'vanik knowing had not sprouted. Instead, it felt good to speak with another bronzerider about his sexuality, much like it had felt good to let T'mhas know.

"Don't let anyone give you shit about it," N'vanik said. "There's nothing wrong with you. Us." It still felt odd to say, odd to know. Bronzeriders who liked men had been rumored, whispered about. And he'd just. . . Made it very, very public. "You and _K'mai_ though? Really? Talk about opposites attract."

I'serin let that first part of N'vanik's words wash over him in healing confirmation. He would have to remember that often. But to the second part, his expression turned fondly sheepish. "The heart wants who it wants," he answered. Had there been other attractions? Yes. But I'serin wanted K'mai and that was final.

"It's clearly mutual. Zeke says K'mai is head over heels for you." It had almost been more surprising to learn I'serin was with the bluerider than that he was attracted to men. But as different as they were, their affection for each other was obvious.

This had the younger Weyrleader ducking his head to hide the fond smile that suddenly gripped him. "Why still perplexes me but I...am thank--" He stopped abruptly as he realized that what he was about to say was woefully inadequate. "He is necessary to me," I'serin said quietly, fervently. It was still the closest thing to an admission of love that he could find and it was evident in his tone.

N'vanik laughed and leaned over to pat I'serin's shoulder. "I'm really happy for you." And he liked seeing this side of I'serin. "I know that feeling. I never needed anyone the way I need Talryne. She changed my whole world, and falling in love with her helped my heart open to other people. She . . . healed something that was broken inside me."

There was a pause while I'serin processed this. "Or, perhaps a world that was gray now exists in color," he added in analogy, thinking about how Impressing Aluneth had opened up his world like that the first time, and how K'mai was now doing the same thing. He gave N'vanik a small smile. "I am happy for you as well."

The Dolphin Cove Weyrleader looked out at the waves with a peaceful smile. It was so nice to talk like this, and poor I'serin had been bottling it up for most of his life. "You and K'mai should come out with us for a day, to a sunny beach like this."

"I..." I'serin started to say, instinctively beginning to decline the offer, but he stopped himself. Why should they not? It would do them good to spend time with other couples and I'serin liked N'vanik's company. "...would like that. I believe K'mai would as well," he finished.

"I'd like it if Tal could come too. If you're okay with that?" N'vanik said.

I'serin thought about it for a moment and then nodded. "I enjoy her company," he said simply. "You...may tell her, if you want. About me and K'mai." Talryne was important to N'vanik, much like R'enh was important to Saibra. It made no sense to hide secrets from weyrmates like that.

N'vanik gave him a slightly embarrassed smile. "I uh, already did."

The other Weyrleader did not hold that against him. "I understand," I'serin said with a matching tone. "I am certain that K'mai will be up all night speaking with Z'kim after this. We may have to separate them in order to sleep."

"I'm a little afraid of the two of them bein' set loose." N'vanik chuckled.

I'serin chuckled nervously as well. "Perhaps, we do not leave them alone together unsupervised for too long," he joked.

N'vanik took a drink, a smile playing at his lips. "It feels good to talk to another bronzerider like this." He hadn't known how much he needed it.

"It does," I'serin agreed, thinking of the dinner he had with T'mhas and how both validating and relieving it felt. "I...am glad. That we talked."

"I'm glad you told me. Thanks for trusting me with this." N'vanik could only imagine how much courage that had taken.

I'serin smiled softly. "Thank you. For being the friend that I have needed." He lifted his glass in a bit of a small toast. "To...being our truthful selves?"

N'vanik raised his own glass. "To being free."

Last updated on the October 28th 2025

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Queerleaders