At Least You Didn't Mean It

Writers: Aaron, Devin
Date Posted: 23rd March 2026

Characters: Saedyna, Ç'pier
Description: Saedyna and Ç'pier talk about their past, relationships, and revenge.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 1, day 3 of Turn 13
Notes: Mentioned: V'tian, B'lyse, N'vanik, R'lor Content notes: mentions of abuse, discussion of violence.

Ç'pier

}:Hello, Yuliuth. Mine wants to talk to yours, here on the beach.:{ Avarith sent an image to the brown, which Ç'pier might well remember as the place they'd met before, a Turn ago. After a pause, Avarith added, }:She says she will not hit him this time.:{

Yuliuth did not particularly remember the first time Saedyna struck his rider, but he knew him deeply enough.

}:We would come even if she wished to,:{ said the brown. }:Does she wish for a witness to accompany us? Or am I and Avarith enough together to serve that purpose?:{

}:Come alone. She is not afraid.:{ Though her rider was somewhat nervous about talking to him, she didn't think Yuliuth's rider would hurt her.

Ç'pier dropped everything right away, and soon thereafter, he arrived at the beach. He kept his hands up and open from the moment his feet hit the sand.

"Here I am," he said.

Saedyna had perched on a large, flat rock a little way above the high tide line. She looked over at him, trying to calm the nervous tightening in her stomach at seeing the man who'd almost killed her. But as she'd told Avarith, she wasn't afraid of him. "I heard a rumor you and V'tian are together."

Was _that_ what this was about? Ç'pier supposed he should have known she would care.

"I'm not sure I would use those words to describe what's going on between us, but I can see how that rumor would get started. Is that going to be a problem?"

"Oh. Are you just fooling around then?" she asked.

"As often as he sends for me," said Ç'pier. "He's fully in control of whatever we're doing. I'm not sure how he managed to avoid hearing exactly what my crimes are before, but he knows now. I told him everything."

"Oh. I thought it might be nice if you . . . found someone." She pulled her knees up under her chin. "I've been thinking a lot, about what happened. Ay'ell used both of us."

Now _that_ surprised Ç'pier. For half a second, he almost wondered if it was a trap of some kind. He had been purposely avoiding mentioning the man's name or even admitting the one who he had bribed was a dragonrider. He had little idea where the man had gone or what had happened to him, and he had no interest in finding out the hard way that he still had eyes, ears, or hands anywhere nearby. But she of all people would never do anything like that for him, even if he did.

If she did, he would deserve it.

"I think a lot about what happened, too."

"You broke my thumb. At least I _hope_ that was you. And this is from you." She pulled her hair back and pointed at a thin scar on her temple. "You almost _killed_ me." She remembered her thumb being broken all too clearly, but that second attack was a blank space in her memory. "But it wasn't personal. I was just some Candidate, and Ay'ell was threatening B'lyse. I was just a job to you."

And she'd made a deal with a dragonrider for far more marks than she could pay. "My husband was supposed to love me. Protect me. But he beat me and he--" She swallowed and Avarith stepped closer to nudge her rider and croon. "At least you didn't mean it."

Ç'pier winced. And for a moment, he considered offering to kill the erstwhile husband. But if he was going to do something like that, he would need N'vanik's blessing. And he would need to have a foolproof plan. No loose ends this time that would point the finger at him.

Then again. As long as he was up front about what it would take, why should he wait to offer?

"You want me to talk to N'vanik about getting him taken care of?" he offered.

Saedyna stared. "You want to ask the Weyrleader if you can _murder_ someone?" It was shocking, and yet part of her wished for it. For Koaz to be punished for all the pain he'd caused her, to know that he could never hurt her again. That she would never, ever have to see his face.

}:I would never let anyone hurt you,:{ Avarith said fiercely.

"Murder?" Ç'pier certainly would not have felt bad about it if he died, but there was more than one way to take care of someone like that. Especially if Saedyna was going to go around saying things like 'murder' out loud. He would probably be better off walking that back.

"I was thinking more along the lines of administering justice. He isn't just some poor victim. He hurt you, and he got away with it. At the very least, he owes you some financial compensation, don't you think?"

Oh, that was so tempting. "He's a holder. The Weyr can't make him do anything, and anyway it would be his word against mine." She could almost hear his denials, that she was lying. Maybe he'd even claim she owed _him_ for running away. Her throat suddenly grew tight. "Don't. I don't want anything to do with him."

"The _Weyr_ can't. But he wouldn't see me flying in. Wouldn't see my face. I can do a pretty convincing Bitran accent, too. Supposing his thumb ended up broken. Hypothetically. The Weyr wouldn't have anything to do with it. Not officially."

She thought of it, of sending him to break Koaz's thumb the way Ç'pier had broken hers. She owned Ç'pier. She had power. Power over him, and now power over her ex-husband if she wanted it. She could command a man to go cause him pain. "Yes," she choked out. "No!" Saedyna pressed her hands against her eyes, the emotions pulling at her almost too much to bear.

Avarith pressed her head against her, eyes whirling with concern.

This was clearly having the opposite of Ç'pier's intended effect.

"Hey. We can put it in our pocket for later, all right? No need to think on it any more today. I won't do anything unless you send me."

Saedyna managed a nod, fighting back tears. With Avarith's love and support surrounding her, she was able to calm down a little. "I was just . . . just trying to say I don't hate you. But I don't think I can forgive you either."

"I don't deserve forgiveness," said Ç'pier. "And I won't ever ask you for any. There's no making up for what I did, no undoing it."

"You're sharding right there's not," she said with feeling. "But Ay'ell had you trapped, too." She sighed and looked out at the ocean. "Did you -- were you and B'lyse . . . ?"

"Romantic? Sexual? No," said Ç'pier. "I saw him as a brother. If I had it to do all over again, I would tell R'lor the truth about everything. Well. Maybe not everything. But enough to keep from having to go through with what I did to you. As long as I could know for sure we would all still have our dragons, anyway."

"I should've told someone, too. But I was so afraid they'd send me back." She knew now that they wouldn't have. But they still could have barred her from Standing. "B'lyse was like family to you. You hurt me to keep him safe, and now he won't even talk to you."

"He didn't ask me to do that. To put that on him," said Ç'pier. "I didn't ask anyone about anything before I just did what I thought I had to, all alone, and now I'm just that. All alone."

Yuliuth huffed.

"Except for Yuli, that is. But that's why I asked you first before I just hauled off and talked to N'vanik about paying your ex back. I can't just go around doing what I think is right without asking anyone about what they actually want."

Saedyna closed her eyes. She hated that she felt sorry for him. She hated that any of them had been through this. When she opened her eyes again, she looked at Ç'pier. "I still own you. So if you like V'tian you should tell him that."

"You mean if I _like_ like him?" asked Ç'pier. "We're just screwing around. But he knows that."

"Oh. Well." Saedyna considered that. "Even if you don't have feelings for him, you can still be friends."

"Hm... If he says we are, then we are," said Ç'pier. "I'm not going to pressure anyone to feel like they have to say I'm anything to them."

She blew out a breath. "You could just _ask_ him, you know."

"If it was important to me to figure all that out, I would." Ç'pier shrugged. "I'm good with how things are."

She shook her head and sighed again. "You don't _have_ to be alone, Ç'pier. He knows what you did and he's still sleeping with you."

"Yeah. He's not the only one." Of course, there was only one other, but. "I'm not really looking for romance right now."

"Or friends?" She arched an eyebrow. "Look, I want you to feel bad about what you did to me, but not like, all the time." She pointed a finger at him. "I order you to make a friend."

Ç'pier chuckled, but it was a genuine chuckle. Saedyna really was a good person. Ç'pier had known so few of them.

"I'll do my best, my lady."

Last updated on the April 26th 2026

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At Least You Didn't Mean It