Ashes

Writers: Halyonix
Date Posted: 7th July 2026

Characters: I'serin, Isoria
Description: I'serin visits his mother at Healer Hall
Location: Healer Hall
Date: month 3, day 19 of Turn 13
Notes: Mentioned: K'mai

I'serin

Notes:
~*~

He realized, as Aluneth appeared over Healer Hall, that what he was doing was out of a sense of obligation, an inexplicable pull to be the dutiful son. He hated that feeling. He knew how it had developed -- through Turns of his father laying down expectations and then moving those expectations, through Turns of his mother reinforcing a conditional parental love tied to those expectations -- and yet, it was a weed he had not been able to pull from the soil of his life.

He slid down from Aluneth's shoulder, feeling already that this visit would not go well, so he took a steadying breath as he waited in the breezeway opening of Healer Hall. His eyes roamed the structure, taking in the new architecture. Perhaps, another time, he could come and tour the place for intellectual pursuits instead of visiting for...less than pleasant reasons.

His mother approached, looking as composed as she always did, but as she neared, there was a shadow to her eyes that now made him notice the grey streaks in her auburn hair more. She looked the same and yet undeniably altered. "Mother," he greeted, offering his hands to her in welcome.

She did not take them.

Instead, she stood there, within reach, her redwort stained hands clasped calmly in front of her as she lifted her chin. Her eyes flickered to the knots on his shoulder. "I'serin."

Taking the hint, he mirrored her pose. "It is good to see you."

"Is it?" she asked. And while there was no bite to her tone, it still bit nonetheless. Had grief really changed her so? She had always been a woman content with her work and her family. Her lot in life. Perhaps he had been wrong to think that some time away from the Weyr would help heal the wounds inflicted by his father's death. Perhaps it had not been long enough.

"I wanted to see if you were well," he told her, hoping that his concern would lessen that frosty feeling in the air.

Her head tilted slightly. "Perhaps if you spoke with your brother A'soren more, you would know," she answered. A pause. "When was the last time you spoke with your brother?"

I'serin winced slightly. It was not for lack of trying but it very easily seemed like his mother was eager to pin blame there on him. "A'soren has been busy with his own matters, as I have." He caught her eyes flickering to his Wingthird shoulder knots again.

She exhaled softly. Probably in disappointment. "Well, here is hoping they are able to train you better since you refused to listen to A'len's advice so much."

Anger, resentment, and half a dozen other emotions all flared within the cage of his body. His hands clenched in an effort to contain them all. Why was everything his fault? Why was A'soren not to blame for anything when I'serin was? Was it because he only rode a brown dragon? Or perhaps because he had given their parents a grandchild? Why was the burden laid constantly on I'serin's shoulders rather than others taking a moment to realize that he was doing his best?

"I listened to A'len's counsel when it suited best the needs of the Weyr," I'serin replied with forced calm. Which was to say that often times, that advice was directly at odds with improving the Weyr and was focused more on improving someone else's ambition.

Yet even the logic of that argument melted against the unaffected, unrelenting way his mother pinned him down with her eyes. Logic failed against her belief: he should have listened to his father more and, if he had, then his father would still be alive.

I'serin realized then that it was a blame he would never escape. His fists clenched as the anger shifted into a heavy lump in his throat. "It does not matter, Mother, what happened. It is in the past. We cannot change it," he said, trying to move the conversation on.

Her shadowed gaze drifted towards the Hall. She was silent for a long moment. The wind whistled softly through the breezeway. Low voices of healers could be heard elsewhere. "Of that, I am aware," she murmured sadly.

He stepped forward, hoping to restore what he had somehow broken. As he always did. That instinct to apologize for his failings, to soothe the wounds he somehow inflicted by being less. Except now he caught himself doing it and paused. "I know that my presence here is not...as welcomed as...well, not as welcomed. But I did not want you to think that I had abandoned you."

Her eyes pinned his again. "Oh, I'serin, why are you even trying? Can't you see the damage done? You had the opportunity to be everything that we wanted for you and you wasted it by falling in love with that...friend of yours."

Aluneth's insulted roar was instant. I'serin closed his eyes against her cutting words, missing how she flinched slightly at the dragon's vocal anger. "I am sorry to have been such a disappointment to you," he said quietly, feeling numb and not sorry at all. "I--"

"What's going on here?" a new, gruff voice demanded to know. "Why is there a dragon roaring outside like that?" I'serin opened his eyes to see the dark haired Hallmaster Laithan approaching with territorial fury in his equally dark eyes. He gave I'serin a raking over with those eyes. "Weren't you the previous Weyrleader? What business do you have here?"

His rudeness was sliced to ribbons by Isoria's cutting reply of, "None, Hallmaster. His business here is concluded." She turned and drifted away without another word, leaving I'serin feeling gutted. Aluneth let out another indignant roar. I'serin did not try to silence him.

The Hallmaster looked at Isoria's departing back, then to I'serin. "She's your mother, isn't she?" He pointed to his own face. "I can see the resemblance. Let me tell you, son, whatever happened at the Weyr, she doesn't want to talk about it. _I_ can't even get that out of her so if you're coming here to try to mend fences or whatever, you might want to hold off on that for a few months. Maybe a few Turns. Go see a mindhealer or something. Get closure another way."

I'serin's eyes watched as his mother disappeared from sight. A hundred emotions, backed by Turns of hurtful memories welled up. He would never have a good relationship with his family. He could see that now. And yet, he could not stop himself from _wanting_ that, though he was not willing to accept its cost.

There was cold steel in his voice, reminiscent of when he had been Weyrleader, as he said, "I will take that into consideration. Thank you, Hallmaster." He bowed formally and went to his incensed dragon, who was rattling his wings.

}: She insults you. She does not deserve our attention, :{ Aluneth remarked caustically as he took off. }: Her inability to see how good Sebeth's rider is for you-- :{

**Leave it, please, Aluneth,** I'serin begged as he closed his eyes, imagined the cliffs of Dragonsfall, and resolved to never visit Healer Hall again.

Last updated on the August 7th 2026

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