Everything He Wanted To Be

Writers: Bree, Eimi
Date Posted: 30th December 2006

Characters: T'voal, Gaiya
Description: T'voal finds being needed by Gaiya to be just a bit more than he cares to resist.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 1, day 6 of Turn 4

T'voal knew he should have stopped pouring wine a long time ago, but it had seemed important to numb Gaiya's emotions enough to stop her tears.
Drinking along with her had only been polite. But now they'd had enough that he was starting to feel a bit tipsy, and he had been a lot harder to get drunk since he'd put on the muscle that came along with riding a dragon. It was hard to feel guilty, though, when he'd finally gotten Gaiya laughing. "Do you remember the time U'val had to spend the night somewhere else because he told R'han to go fetch Abrei and they ended up taking over his weyr?"

"Oh yes," Gaiya giggled, remembering that conversation quite clearly. "I had so much fun reminding him of all the surfaces in his weyr they could have done it. It was fun to watch him squirm."

"You're wicked, Gaiya." T'voal grinned, imagining his uncle confronted with Gaiya's sweet, innocent face as she teased him about Abrei and R'han wrecking havoc in his weyr. "Maybe it's a good thing U'val _wasn't_ a few turns younger... you'd have broken him!"

"I suppose I would have," she smiled, remembering all the times she had teased him of just that. All the times he had teased her... **If U'val had been a few turns younger...** "You're a lot like him, you know."

T'voal's smile turned wistful. "Do you really think so? Shards, I'd like to be. I always wanted to grow up like him..."

"You are, T'voal," she whispered, her face serious, almost earnest. "You are like him. Sitting here and talking like this... I can see it so clearly." Shards, they had the same eyes. U'val's eyes, a little younger, not quite as wise, but just as deep and just as caring. It was almost unnerving. Maybe it was just the wine.

"Don't start crying again," T'voal whispered, reaching out a hand to touch her cheek gently. "If I were more like U'val, I could have cheered you up without getting both of us drunk."

Gaiya reached for his hand and cradled it in hers. "Oh, please, U'val is good, but not even he is _that_ good," she said with small smile. Her fingers idly traced the lines in his palm. "Besides, I'm not drunk yet. Which is probably a good thing."

His body reacted with surprising enthusiasm to her simple touch, leaving him feeling vaguely guilty. If Shayla had been weyrbred, he wouldn't have worried about the temptation Gaiya presented. But Shayla was new to the Weyr, and Gaiya was her friend. She might not understand... "Why is it good?" he asked in a voice that sounded a bit husky.

Her eyes flickered up to his, but she looked away quickly before he could see the shameful truth in them. "I do stupid things when I'm drunk." Shards, why did he have to be weyrmated? To her _friend_. He had been so kind and caring. So understanding. So much like everything she needed. All she wanted was to feel his arms around her. To find comfort in his touch. To lose herself in his eyes...

T'voal cleared his throat. "I suppose it's wrong that I wish you were a little more drunk, then."

Her fingers stilled as her eyes slowly rose to meet his, wide with surprise. Her jaw dropped as if she wanted to say something but she looked away quickly. But Shayla... Wasn't she... They were happy, weren't they? It would be wrong... wouldn't it? "I... suppose it might be," she whispered, but _shards_ she wished she could forget that fact.

He wanted her. The sweet face and the eyes that looked at him but saw him as so much more than he was... as everything he wanted to be. The knowledge that she was no shy holdbred girl who would be intimidated or nervous stirred something much deeper in him--the desire to lose control. The only time he'd ever done so with Shayla, he'd terrified her.

T'voal curled his fingers around hers, already pulling her slowly toward him. "Tell me to stop," he whispered, his voice making it clear he didn't want her to.

She allowed herself to be pulled, not resisting, but not giving in. He was Shayla's weyrmate. He was U'val's grandson. He was bound to her friend. He was part of another. And then there was Ar'lis. No. No, there was no Ar'lis. Not here. Her eyes met his, holding no secrets in them, totally open and vulnerable as they searched his. "I'm not sure I want you stop, T'voal."

He groaned and pulled her to him, his fingers sinking into her hair. For one long moment he cradled her head in his hands and studied her eyes, intoxicated by the way she stared back at him as if he could fix everything that hurt inside her. And shards, how he wanted to... His lips found hers and he kissed her, even as a tiny voice inside him warned that this was not the way to fix anything. He ignored the voice and gave in to the irresistible lure of being needed and wanted.

Her fingers dug into the fabric of his tunic, unconsciously pulling him closer. Those eyes... there was healing in those eyes. She cast every thought out but but them out as she kissed him back almost pleadingly. Every thought of Shayla, U'val, Ar'lis was pushed away as she focused all her attention on the way her lips could make her feel. Finally breaking away she reached for his hand. Breathlessly she whispered, "Come with me."

Last updated on the December 31st 2006

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Everything He Wanted To Be