Not How Life Works

Writers: Jane, Kaysea
Date Posted: 18th May 2007

Characters: Fog, Jesten
Description: On the night before Lineal's arrival, Jesten finds Fog up late.
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 4, day 9 of Turn 4

There was somebody up by the stowed landing stage and in the middle of the night that was unusual enough for Jesten to investigate. "Fog?" he said in surprise when he recognised his nephew in the moonlight. "What are you doing up?"

"Can't sleep." Sometimes he felt this way, but more so since Jesten's news. He didn't want his Uncle to leave the Sungazer, even if Lineal was the new Captain, Jesten would always be a part of the life of the river.

"Head hurting?" the older man asked. Since Fog's accident there had been a lot of headaches.

"A little." he shrugged his shoulders, "but I just can't sleep, and even the medicine they gave me doesn't help some nights." Jesten was one of the few who really understood Fog, since the accident at least.

"Have you spoken to the healer at Emerald Falls? Master Miranek?
Though sometimes, for some things, nothing _can_ help." His tired heart was apparently one of those things. Tomorrow Lineal would be home, and then he would have as much time as his heart allowed to train his son to inherit the captaincy. After that - Well, Lineal would have to manage the best he could.

"I did last time we were there, but, I wasn't as bad then." His hand curled through his hair and he tugged slightly, trying to cover the pain of one, with another. This time, he knew what the headaches and sleeplessness was from. The fact Jesten was leaving, that they would have so many changes onboard, was worrying him. His head hurt from thinking too much.

"Oh well. Is there anything else that helps? You're not worried about anything are you? Lineal? He'll be just the same as he always was,"
Jesten said, hoping it was true. He had seen his son perhaps ten times since the boy apprenticed, and not at all over the last eight Turns.
The letters that came suggesting that his son was still the boy and young man he remembered him to be, but he couldn't still the niggling doubt that letters weren't a very accurate way to judge character. It was all very well to want his son to inherit from him, but he wouldn't allow it to be at the expense of the whole crew.

How could he tell Jesten that it wasn't Lineal coming as much as Jesten, possibly, going?

"Too. Much. Change." he muttered, knuckling his head harder. He turned away from the Captain, and looked out over the silently moving river.
He couldn't remember what he had been like before, he couldn't tell what the changes were in him, but he often wondered _how much_ he had changed. He didn't like change, didn't like it at all - now.

"No, Fog. The river will be the same, the family - the crew - they'll be the same. Our home, the Sungazer. That's not going to change.
We'll still be steaming there and back again, just like always."

"But, you said you were going.." Fog looked at his uncle, "You're not?"
he asked hopefully.

Jesten sighed. Barr had suggested that Fog didn't understand what everybody else seemed to know. "My heart is tired, Fog, and soon it will stop. Lineal's coming now to make sure that when I die that things will remain the same. That there will still be a captain, just like there is now."

"But, why can't the healers fix your heart? They fixed my head, sort of, so they can fix your heart, right?"

"You know it's not that easy. Sometimes on the engine things do wear out, don't they, and no amount of tinkering or adjusting will make them work again. It's going to be like that with my heart. Lineal will take over and do my work for me, and my other grandchildren will grow up here. It won't matter in the long run that I'm not here."

"So, it's like a cog that wears out?" This was something Fog could understand, he was used to cogs and bits and pieces of the engine wearing out. And the huge washers, they were always wearing thin. "But you're wrong you know, it will matter that you're not here. To me." Now that he had said it, the pain in his head lessened to a degree, it was still there, just dull, but he could live with that, for now.

"That's a nice thing to hear, Fog. I would stay forever, if I could, but that's not how life works." The older man was just glad that Lineal was coming home, that it would be his own son who would carry on as captain of the Sungazer. The inheritance of the riverboat was like the river - it might be different every season after the spring floods, but it was always the same river.

Fog nodded solemnly, he understood that things sometimes just wore out.
And tomorrow a replacement would arrive for their worn out Captain.
He may not like it, but he could understand it.

"Do you think you could sleep now? I know I should. Tomorrow's going to be a big day for the Sungazer."

"I'll try." he shrugged, and with a quicker than normal movement for Fog, he hugged his uncle briefly. He wasn't prone to displays of affection, but felt the need now, in case the chance never came again.

Last updated on the May 19th 2007

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Not How Life Works