Could it Have Gone Any Worse?

Writers: Kaysea, Vix
Date Posted: 26th August 2007

Characters: Tayette, Hartam
Description: Tayette tells Hartam about her 'bug'
Location: Vintner Hall
Date: month 5, day 14 of Turn 4

She was still feeling giddy, her stomach still reeled at each step she took,
but her body and mind were still buzzing from the news. She was finding it
hard to comprehend, and had to keep pinching herself to believe that she
hadn't dreamed the last candlemark or two.

Usually when she reached the Tavern she had to build herself up before
pushing the door open, and facing the crowd within, but today, she pushed the
door with more force than she had ever shown and surprised herself when it
flew back and hit the wall behind. She blushed, embarrassed by her
enthusiasm, but she couldn't remove the smile from her face. She took in the
room at a glance and headed towards the small stage area and the figure that
was hunched over the table, scribe in hand.

"Hartam." she stopped at his side, hands clasped tightly together, now that
she was here in front of him, she began to realise that he may not feel the
same way that she did about her news, and clasped her hands even tighter to
stop the trembling she felt building.

He looked up, blinking, his mind still half on the music he had been penning
onto paper. As his eyes focused on her, he smiled and rose from his seat.
"Tayette! What a nice surprise. Sit down and join me for a while."

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded, her bright smile mirroring his own,
"Yes, yes I will, I think we both needed to be seated for this." She could
feel her heart beat racing, and could barely contain herself, the sickness of
a candlemark ago, almost eradicated by the happiness she could feel bubbling
inside her.

Hartam regarded her in confusion. He knew that she had been ill lately and
had taken to her bed, but why would that require them to be seated? A sudden
alarm struck him, his eyes widening. "Why? Is something wrong? Have you
visited the healers?"

"No..and yes." she smiled, a soft, glowing smile. The fact he cared enough
to look worried for her, gave her a sudden bolster of confidence. "No,
there's nothing 'wrong'," she answered again, "but I did visit the healers,
and there's something we need to discuss." she couldn't keep the news inside
her any longer, needed to know whether he would be pleased with the news.

"I'm pregnant." she blurted the words out, and without realising it, held her
breath.

He stared at her, blinking, wondering what she had just said to him because
what he had heard was probably not correct - or could it have been? "What?"

She blushed, her eyes wavered for just a moment before holding his gaze
again. She reached out and took his hands in hers across the table. "Hartam,
I'm pregnant." she repeated, her words said more slowly and quietly than the
first time.

So he had heard correctly. He knew the usual words to say - and especially
now, remembering her story of not being able to conceive, of wanting a child
and not being able to bear one - and forced a smile though a part of him felt
numb, betrayed, and jealous all at once."Congratulations!"

But then it hit him, why she was telling him this. His expression changed to
one of incredulity, willing her answer but afraid to hear it. "Wait. . . am I
. . . we. . .?" The harper reached a hand toward her, imploring and for once
at a loss for words.

The way he had said congratulations, the visible clouding of his eyes for an
instant, showed his mistake. She felt hurt and even his dawning realisation
of the truth did little to erase that.

"You... you thought the baby was someone else's, didn't you?" she asked
slowly, not really wanting him to confirm it, it had been obvious.

"It's not what you think, Tayette." He placed his hand on hers, still reeling
from the news she had given her and fearing that his reaction had ruined this
moment. "I. . . I'm so accustomed to having people come to me and telling me
that they're expecting children that it didn't register at first that this
time I was involved, not just sitting and hearing the news." He squeezed her
hand lightly. "I had not thought that I would ever hear that I was to be a
father, so your words caught me by surprise."

Tears pooled in her eyes. "I thought - that you thought I had been with
someone else." she sat upright in her chair, her face a mask. "I thought that
you'd be happy, for both of us." The warmth of his hand on hers felt
strange, she looked down at it. "I didn't expect this news either, but -
Hartam this is what I have yearned for, for as long as I can remember. I'm -
I won't '/between/' no matter what you say." She pulled her hands from his,
and started to rise...

His expression turned to one of disgust. "/Between/? You think I'd even
suggest that?" He rose as well, taking a deep breath, his eyes on hers.
"Tayette, I'm definitely not unhappy, but I . . . I feel as if I can't be
truly happy yet because none of this seems real. It feels more like a dream
and I'm afraid that I'll wake and be disappointed."

"So the flight was a dream as well?" she asked, her voice low, "You _did_
think I had been with someone else, didn't you? That was why the
'Congratulations'!" She looked down, not wanting to meet his eyes, "I don't
know what to think Hartam. I really don't."

The harper stood, hands at his side, feeling helpless to deal with his own
feelings, let alone try to soothe Tayette's. "I don't know what to say to
you, Tayette. No, I don't think that you've been with another man, but
everything I say comes out wrong. I've been hit with news that, while not
unwelcome, is not anything that I've ever thought to hear. It may be wrong of
me, but right now I'm trying to absorb this information and what it means,
and really don't know what to do or to think or to feel. I certainly don't
want to hurt you or alienate you by saying anything wrong, but I also have
never been in this position and am uncertain exactly what I am or should be
feeling."

"I'll make it easy on you then, shall I?" she asked, her eyes swimming in unshed
tears, "Don't worry, I won't be pressuring you into anything." She turned and
hurried through the tables to the door, not bothering to look one way or
another, just wanting to get away as fast as possible.

With a sigh, he sank into his chair, muttering to himself, "I doubt that
could have gone any worse." Elbows on the table, he rested his head in his
hands, his emotions now even more confused.

Last updated on the September 2nd 2007

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

Could it Have Gone Any Worse?