Callouses

Writers: AL, Cali
Date Posted: 12th March 2009

Characters: Sorsha, Meledei
Description: Sorsha tries to get Meledei to see things in a different light.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 1, day 17 of Turn 5

Meledei lay on her bed, arms wrapped around her pillow and face pressed into it. She hadn't even gone back to eat lunch, her appetite fading as her anger, disappointment, and eventually even sadness rushing in to take its place. Weyr Harpers weren't good enough for F'gol. It was as if he didn't consider them real crafters, that they were sub-par. If Weyr harpers were sub-par, where did that put all the other crafters? Did he only want to go to the Healer hall for healing? Was the Weyr not good enough? He made it sound like being a 'weyrman' wasn't good enough either. Where did that put her? She was Weyrborn, Weyrbred. Evidently that just wasn't good enough for him.

In the back of her mind, Meledei's logic tried to argue with her. That wasn't exactly what he had said, but oh the meaning his words could have carried! He may not have _said_ them, but that's what it _felt_ like he meant. F'gol was Hold and Craftbred. He didn't understand. It really shouldn't bother her what he thought - she'd known other Holdbreds and Craftbreds with similar feelings - so why was this different?

Because he was important to her. What he thought was important to her. What he thought about _her_ was important to her. It was then that Meledei admitted to herself what she had been trying to deny in the short time they had known each other - she liked F'gol. She thought maybe, just maybe, here was someone she might be able to have something beyond friendship with. But she wasn't good enough.

~ ~ ~

Sorsha approached Meledei's bunk, unsure what to say, but knowing that something was wrong. The girl had been acting distant all afternoon. She'd barely said anything to anyone, and for Meledei that was a flag if she'd ever seen one. "You know, between you and F'gol today, you'd think the plague had returned."

"According to F'gol, the whole Weyr has the plague." Meledei's tone was sullen and she knew she was over exaggerating. At the moment, she didn't really care.

She sighed, she figured the two had a fight, but now it was confirmed. "He probably thinks it does. Sometimes I forget that he didn't want to be here."

"But he got Tealth." Meledei turned so her face was so muffled by the pillow. "You would think that would make up for it!"

Sorsha sat down on the edge of Meledei's bed and patted the young goldrider on the shoulder. "I got Roseth, but that doesn't mean that sometimes I don't still want to go home. This place and what we have to do with the rest of our lives can be intimidating... and we _chose_ it."

"Yeah, well, you don't consider people of a lower standard than you, do you?" Meledei asked as she pushed herself up to a seated position.

"Well, no..." She wondered just what it was F'gol and her were fighting about.

"_He_ does." Meledei looked toward the curtain that separated the men and women's sleeping areas. "He's upset because if he wants to continue his harper training, he has to lower himself to accept training from Weyr harpers. It's as if they aren't even real harpers to him! And what does that mean about the rest of the crafters? Are they not good enough either? And what about people who were born and raised in the Weyr? Are we not good enough because we're weyrfolk?"

Sorsha frowned as she listened to Meledei's explanation. "Why can't he train at the Hall? They're right next door?"

"Because he's a weyrman now." Meledei snorted. "And evidently weyr harpers aren't good enough for him."

She pursed her lips, it sounded like a stupid reason. "Did he _tell_ you that you weren't good enough? Or is that what you're inferring from his bemoaning having to train with Weyr harpers?"

"He said he _needed_ the Hall." Meledei waved her hand in the air. "That he needed _dedicated_ harpers. As if there aren't any in the Weyr! And when I told him there are, he said 'maybe'. Maybe! That right there tells me what he thinks."

The greenrider was silent a moment, looking down at her hands, and noticed the callouses on her fingertips and along the side of her index finger. "My callouses are going away." She replied suddenly, holding up her hands to show her friend."

"Huh?" Meledei stared at her friend - why the sudden change in subject. "What does that have to do anything?"

"I don't know anything about harpers, but seacrafters build up callouses over time. Mine were mostly from net and sail mending." Sorsha explained, "With all the oils we've been using on the dragons I think they're starting to go away. They'll probably be completely gone by the time we're out of weyrling training. In a turn or so, if some seacrafter saw my hands, he'd probably never think I knew how to mend a net... but that doesn't mean I wouldn't remember how. Maybe F'gol just can't get past looks? Maybe in his head, he just can't see how someone can be a harper without the callouses?"

"F'gol's a bloomin' idiot." Meledei muttered, ducking her head and drawing her knees to her chest. "Why does it matter? Why _should_ it matter? It shouldn't and he's stupid for thinking it does."

Sorsha gave Meledei's arm a little squeeze, "He is. I've told you before that boys are stupid sometimes. Maybe you should just try and stay away from him for a bit."

"Maybe forever?" But that thought brought a pang to her heart. Meledei didn't want to stay away forever. She at least wanted to be friends with him. Just how could they be friends, though, if he thought less of her simply because of where she was born and raised?

"Or maybe just until he adjusts?" Sorsha didn't really think she meant it. "Remember, he's only been here a month. I think he just needs time."

"I think he needs a few slaps upside the head." The gold weyrling muttered. "Maybe a dunk in a mountain lake in the dead of winter."

Sorsha let out a little chuckle, "It might work, I don't know. I've never had to smack Ri'len so I'm not sure how effective that sort of straightening out is."

"Yeah, Ri'len...why can't F'gol be more like him? He seems to have adjusted without a problem." Of course, Meledei didn't really know the bronze weyrling that well. He was pretty quiet usually.

Sorsha shrugged but smiled as she thought of her husband. "Ri'len is older for one thing, and I don't know if any of us have really adjusted. It might not be a lot to take in for you since you're from the Weyr, but those of us from the holds and crafthalls are still settling in. Some of us are in shock still, and some of us are just coping. It probably doesn't show a lot because we're contented by our dragons. Just think how angry F'gol might be _without_ his."

"Without his dragon," Meledei pointed out, "He wouldn't be in this position. He'd be happy at the Hall."

"Good point." Sorsha admitted with a grin. "So maybe cut him some slack?"

"He still thinks the Weyr is beneath him." Meledei levelled her gaze at Sorsha. "And therefore so am I."

"You said he didn't like the Weyr _harpers_, not that he said anything bad about you in particular." Sorsha reminded her. If he _had_ then she wouldn't even be _trying_ to smooth things over between them.

"Because they're _Weyr_ harpers." Meledei insisted stubbornly.

Sorsha gave up. Meledei was locked into the idea and she couldn't seem to ease her out of it. "Then don't talk to him again. Ever. There's fourty of us here, I'm sure you can avoid him for the next five months."

Meledei nodded slowly. The problem was, the idea didn't really appeal to her one bit.

Last updated on the March 14th 2009

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