Too Much Too Soon

Writers: AL, Cali
Date Posted: 26th August 2009

Characters: Sorsha, Ri'len
Description: Sorsha can't seem to get over her fears and hurts Ri'len.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 4, day 18 of Turn 5

Sorsha walked back to their weyr with Ri'len. She held his hand, not bothered by that gentle touch anymore, and wondered what the night would bring. Their first night in their joint weyr had not gone well. They'd gone to bed together, but agreed to just sleep. Ri'len had said he wasn't going to push her. In the middle of the night though, she'd woken to his arms around her. He'd rolled over in his sleep, and in a most normal reaction had reached out for her, as he should as her husband. She'd moved to their small couch and spent the rest of the night there. Ri'len hadn't been happy.

The second night hadn't fared any better. She'd decided that she'd just sleep on the couch out of precaution, but Ri'len wouldn't allow it. He gave her the bed and made up a roll on the floor since the couch wouldn't fit him. She'd felt so bad, but couldn't quite manage to make herself invite him back to the bed. He was never mad at her as the days stretched on, never pressing. He was better than she deserved, and she was determined to work through this irrational fear she'd developed. Hand holding was a good first step. She just needed a few dozen more.

Ri'len didn't say a word as he walked beside her. He was getting more frustrated as the days passed. He wasn't angry and he hoped Sorsha knew that, but this hesitance to get close, while understandable at first, was becoming mind boggling. Roseth was older now. Frankly he thought the dragonet had over reacted in the first place. Monilath hadn't been bothered about it one bit. He struggled with his feelings, wanted to be intimate with his wife...well, weyrmate, though wife in his heart...and wanted to placate her fears about Roseth. He honestly wasn't sure what to do.

They both stopped as they came to their weyr, Ri'len opening the door for Sorsha and then closing it after he passed through. Would she let him close that night? Even to just hold her? He hoped so, but if the last couple of nights were any indication, the prospects for that night looked bleak.

"Let me just check on Roseth." Sorsha replied quickly in explanation for why she was letting go of his hand. She found the green curled up next to Monilath on their shared ledge, the two were already asleep. She didn't want to disturb them, but she'd needed to see her, just to make sure.

The young bronzerider held back a sigh. Yes, it had been a mistake, but time had passed since then. The dragons had gotten older, understood more, didn't need to be babied so much. Ri'len turned away as Sorsha went to the dragons and began to prepare for bed. He wondered if he would be spending another night on the floor. At the rate things were going, probably.

When Sorsha came back in, she gave Ri'len a quick look and then hurried into the bathing room where her nightgown was hung. They were lucky having a private bath, one of the perks of being a bronzerider Ri'len had told her. When she peeked back out, she saw Ri'len unrolling the bed roll next to the bed. He hadn't argued, he hadn't pleaded, he was too wonderful to her. As she crawled onto the bed and tucked herself into the light sheet, she watched Ri'len cover the glows that had gently lit their weyr. "I was thinking..."

"A dangerous past time." Ri'len teased gently. He leaned over and placed a fraternal kiss upon her forehead. "Thinking about what?"

She grabbed at him, his bare chest not giving her a perch, but he understood and didn't pull away. "Can we try again? Will you come to bed?"

In the darkness, Ri'len smiled. "Of course." Even if she didn't want to do anything but cuddle, it was a start. He moved around to the other side of the bed and slipped into it. "Does this mean I get to hold you?"

Sorsha wanted to say no, to offer her hand instead to hold, but she was being a coward and she knew it. "I think... that would be okay. But just holding. For tonight." she added. Though she couldn't make herself move towards him, she needed him to understand that she was trying.

"I will let it be enough." Ri'len eagerly drew her into his arms, holding her close and spooning her. Her rubbed his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply. "You smell good. I've missed that."

She felt her body start to respond to his touch. It was so natural for them to be together, her body wanted to just relax into him. Her mind however was having a harder time. She kept touching her dragon's mind, kept checking to make sure Roseth was alright. The dragon was deep asleep though and could give her no assurances. "Good night Ri'len." Sorsha said quietly, squirming out of his arms enough to lay on her stomach. She needed a bit of breathing room in order to keep things safe between them.

"Sorsha..." Ri'len winced as she pulled away. He wasn't going to try anything, but she acted as if she couldn't trust him. It stung.

Hurting him was the last thing she wanted, and she thought about turning back over... but she didn't. Instead she just closed her eyes and hoped that someday he could understand.

She didn't say anything and that hurt almost as much as her pulling away. She could have at least talked to him. Ri'len lay there but a moment more, then eased out of the bed. He was frustrated and didn't think he could be so close and not at least touch her, so he returned to the pallet on the floor.

"Please come back to bed." Sorsha whispered. She hadn't meant to alienate him so and was fighting back the tears. Didn't he understand? She needed things slow, one step at a time. He couldn't just jump right back into things and expect everything to be normal, not after what they'd done.

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable." And it was better to sleep alone than to have her not even let him hold her, especially after she said he could. "So when you're ready, I'll come back to bed."

Sorsha sighed. "You just startled me is all. I wasn't expecting you to be so exuberant. Please come back to bed."

"I was just holding you." Ri'len felt like he was whining and sighed in an echo of his weyrmate. "I want you to be comfortable, so we'll just give it longer. Go to sleep, baby." That wasn't the entire reason. Part of it was his frustration level at just holding her, no sexual advances what so ever, was so clearly rejected. He was willing to wait, but at the moment, he felt it better to simply sleep on his own.

She laid in bed, staring at the darkness in front of her. She knew Ri'len was just a few inches below her, and it seemed ridiculous that he was acting this way. Frustrated, she sat up and grabbed at her pillow, pulling the top sheet with her and she crawled out of bed and headed towards the sleeping dragons. "You take the bed. I'll sleep with Roseth tonight. I'm tired of you sleeping on the floor."

His eyes had adjusted to the darkness, but even so, Sorsha's form was a dark shadow moving through a grey night. He didn't say anything, watched her until even her shadows was gone. He didn't bother to get into the bed, simply rolled over and did his best to relax and get to sleep.

Last updated on the August 31st 2009

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Too Much Too Soon