Sounds Like Good-Bye

Writers: Bree, Eimi
Date Posted: 6th December 2005

Characters: D'cal, Dyaera
Description: D'cal, Dyaera
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 8, day 23 of Turn 3

Dyaera was sitting on the sofa when D'cal arrived on his blue Aosorath. The younger dragon settled comfortably next to her green, Tilarth as his lifemate walked tentatively towards the girl. He couldn't quite read her expression, but he felt a knot of anxiety in his belly that told him this was going to be a hard meeting. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Dyaera replied, her voice sounding sharp. "I just got finished with the healers."

"How is that going? Do you have more mobility?" Her tone of voice spoke volumes. He had upset her somehow...

"Mmmmm. Not enough for you still, I guess... but enough." D'cal ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Why was it that every time he came to see her lately one of them was upset at the other. Surely it couldn't be worth all this. "All right, Dyaera, what did I do?"

She looked up at him, eyes annoyed. "Why do you get to spend evenings with L'nar and I'm expected to sit in my bed all alone and wait for you to figure out what you want?" "Oh shards," D'cal whispered as the color drained from his face. L'nar told her? Why did he have to tell _her_?! "Dyaera, I'm sorry."

For the first time, Dyaera completely lost her temper. "Don't you _get_
it?" she demanded angrily, wanting to shake him. "I don't _care_ that you slept with him, D'cal! I just care that you don't seem too interested in being with me, and yet you're always upset if I try to spend time with someone who _is_!" "But L'nar was a mistake! That was't supposed to _happen_!" D'cal wrapped his arms across his chest and began pacing back and forth across the ledge. "I didn't know he was going to kiss me! I was just so upset, and there he was..."

Dyaera sighed, feeling older than D'cal for once. "L'nar's a horny arse.
If you didn't know he was going to kiss you, you haven't been paying attention. Every one of my friends wants to, you know."

"Yes, but I never wanted any of _them_!" Shards! Why did have to be _L'nar_? Why couldn't he just keep his big mouth shut?

"Well who _do_ you want?" Dyaera demanded, watching him pace. D'cal's frustration boiled to the surface. "I don't _know_ what I want!
I can't _have_ what I want!" "If you know you can't have it, then you must know what it is." It seemed like perfectly reasonable logic to Dyaera, at least. "All right, Dyaera, you want to know what I want?" he asked as he threw his arms in the air in resignation. "I want you to stop being angry at me. What have I done that you didn't do? So I slept with L'nar, and Kisdra, and I want to sleep with Zanie. You have slept with J'darin and J'tak and that brownrider and who knows who else. _I_ have done nothing wrong any more than you have!"

"I'm not angry at you for wanting other people," Dyaera retorted. "I'm angry at you for not wanting me! If you don't sharding want me, then _why_ are we doing this? Make up your _sharding_ mind already!" "When I was a candidate it was about a kiss. If I didn't kiss you then I couldn't be near you. Now you want it all. And if you don't get it all, what? You don't want to see me anymore? Is it all or nothing, Dyaera?"

"If you're going to be in here yelling at me all the time, it sharding well had better be!" The anger in her voice couldn't quite hide the fear that she'd been struggling to shove aside. Oh, they all had perfectly reasonable excuses. Perfectly reasonable excuses as to why they didn't want to touch her. But every rejection added to her already overwhelming terror that no one would want her with so much of her body covered in scars. D'cal could believe it. Had it _truly_ come to this? "So that's it, Dyaera? Sleep with you or get out of your life?"

Dyaera blinked furiously, trying to hold back tears. "That's the problem, D'cal. You talk about it like it's some horrible task. Maybe if that's how you feel about it, we'd be better off just being friends." "And you talk about it like that's all I'm good for, and you always have." D'cal sighed. This was not going well... "I think it would be best for both of us if we _were_ just friends. I think it would be far less confusing. But Dyaera, I..." He shook his head. Friends were better.
Friends were not so confusing. If they were friends she could sleep with who she wanted and she could be happy. And he could still have her in his life, and that would make him happy. "Yes, friends is best."

"All right." Perfectly reasonable excuses... how perfectly reasonable.
"Well, then. I won't keep you from whatever it is you have to do now. I hope you have a good afternoon." That knot was back in his stomach, twisting him in all directions. Her words sounded eerily like good-bye. "But can I come back later?"

"If you like. It's not like I'll be somewhere else." She gave him a tired smile. "I think I'd like to rest now." "I _will_ come later," he promised her, if only to reassure himself that he was still welcome to. Still he felt somethng eating away in him as he leapt onto Aosorath's neck and took to the sky.

Last updated on the December 7th 2005

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