A Weyrwoman's Farewell

Writers: Devin, Ames
Date Posted: 25th March 2012

Characters: N'vanik, Janani
Description: Janani tells the Weyrleader she's leaving, and they part on less than pleasant terms.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 7, day 18 of Turn 6
Notes: Note: I have LOVED being the Weyrwoman at DCW, but with this post Janani will be going inactive. I loved being your Weyrwoman!!

N'vanik

Janani was sad as she walked the stone steps towards N'vanik's office.
Things weren't supposed to have worked out this way, and she wasn't
even sure how things had changed so quickly and in such a short time.
This walk to N'vanik's office was not an easy one. Her heart was heavy
and her feet seemed almost to resist her at each step. Taking a deep
breath she knocked on his door.

"Come in."

She knew he would know why she'd come. They'd both be dreading this
day for some time, but a decision had to be made and she was the
likely candidate. Opening the door, Janani entered.

"N'vanik," she said as she moved into the room. She was at a a loss
for words beyond that. She'd come to love this place and call it her
home. How then could she leave it now? She'd hope to stay here for the
rest of her time, but alas the need was great elsewhere and she was
being called upon to make the difficult move. It wasn't going to be
easy. She'd made far too many friends here, including the man whom she
looked upon now.

"So you're leaving." He couldn't help the hint of accusation in his
tone. Another Weyrwoman abandoning him, and so soon.

She had to take a deep breath to squelch the hurt and sorrow she felt
at his words. "I am," she replied simply, a hint of sadness clearly
evident in her voice. Not for the first time that day, the strong
woman she was wanted to just curl up into a ball on the floor and
weep. Why did it seem almost as though her foot was set on a path she
had little control over? She didn't _want_ to leave Dolphin Cove, but
yet she was.

"Maybe you'll be happy there." He'd tried, maybe he hadn't tried hard
enough, but he _had_ tried. At least this one hadn't tried to kill
herself.

She stepped forward, closer to him. It wasn't that she hadn't been
happy here. In fact she _had_ been, but perhaps her inner desire to
feel love in a way she knew N'vanik couldn't give was, in some small
way, a driving factor in her decision.

"I was happy here," **Then why are you leaving?** she asked herself.
She knew her help was needed, but she didn't _have_ to leave. Someone
else could have gone in her place, couldn't they?

"Not happy enough, apparently." And it wasn't his job to make her
happy, shard it. _She_ had a job to do, to help him lead the Weyr, but
she was turning her back on that as if it meant nothing.

She found she had not other words to explain why she had accepted the
transfer. She knew help _was_ desperately needed at the other Weyr,
and she could have explained her move by that alone.

"N'vanik," Janani moved forward and looked the man whose bed she'd
shared on occasion, in the eye. "It's _not_ you. I don't even know if
I can explain it. Have you ever felt that you were seeking something
and couldn't quite figure out what it was?" She knew it sounded almost
childish and foolish, but she couldn't find a better way to explain
her thoughts. "I wish I knew what it was myself, but I can't even
explain it." Janani heaved a rather frustrated sigh. "Perhaps I wasn't
destined to make Dolphin Cove my home. I _have_ loved it here, and you
have been a good Weyrleader. I'm sorry if my leaving hurts you, I
never intended it to. This move is _not_ about you, but rather about
something in me that _needs_ to do this." She paused. "I don't think I
explained anything, but I wish you would be able to understand and not
hate me for this. I had hoped we could remain friends..." her voice
trailed off, not sure if such an offer would be received well or not.

He couldn't make himself believe it and he didn't want to. "Well,
we'll get along without you. That's what we do here, make the best of
what we have." He'd been fixing Dolphin Cove since he came here and
maybe that's what he'd needed all along -- a way to make a difference.
At least he was finally in a position to let people go if they didn't
want to be here, even if the Weyr was still short handed. They'd
learned to do more with less.

She gave a curt nod of her head, knowing that he had answered her
final words by not speaking on them. She hadn't really expected
anything different, had she? Maybe someday in time their paths would
cross again and N'vanik would better understand, but for now she knew
what friendship she had made were gone like she would be come the
dawn.

"Thank you for the time I had here at Dolphin Cove. I know I won't
forget it or the people," **And I wish I could stay, but that is
simply not to be,** she added silently as she turned to leave his
office and the home she'd come to know and love behind. What the
future would hold for Dolphin Cove or for her she didn't know, but she
knew that her future was no longer connected with that of Dolphin Cove
Weyr, a thought which weighed heavily on her heart and her mind.

Last updated on the April 2nd 2012

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A Weyrwoman's Farewell