Better Now

Writers: Michelle, Shelly
Date Posted: 18th January 2006

Characters: L'maret, Leora
Description: L'maret comes to Leora to tell her that Kesta has left and ends up (unwelcomely) kissing Leora.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr, River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 9, day 5 of Turn 3
Notes: Prior to the Threadfall Accident L'maret and his long time
Weyrmate Kesta broke things off due to multiple fights about ridiculous
things. It didn't help much that L'maret was beginning to develop
feelings for a certain healer. After the disaster L'maret temporarily
transferred to DCW, but now he is back....

**Its good to be going home,** L'maret thought, as he began to pack up the few belongings he had hurriedly packed before departing to Dolphin Cove Weyr after the disaster occured. It had been over two months since he had last seen the Weyr he was born and raised in, the longest he had ever been away from his home. Some dragonriders had no troubles ransferring from Weyr to Weyr every few turns or so, but after his stint at Dolphin Cove L'maret knew that he would never be one of them. No matter how difficult things had gotten back home L'maret knew that he would rather face an absent Kesta and an either mad or indifferent Leora, than spend another drama free sevenday at Dolphin Cove.

**Leora,** L'maret thought, repeating the name over and over in his mind, trying to determine his exact feelings towards the healer. Maybe if he was lucky he would feel nothing, and be able to make a clean start upon returning to River Bluff. Alas, everytime that he thought her name he felt a little excited flutter in his stomache. L'maret wished above anything else that he could have prevented himself from kissing Leora that day. How different things might have been. Instead of returning home alone, he could be returning to a girl who loved him.

****

Leora stretched wearily and rolled up the last of the scrolls she had been set to read. She replaced it on the shelf where she had gotten it and gently said good night to the journeymen on duty for the long, quiet, hours of the night.

For the moment the only sound in the hall was the light rustle of her dress against the cold stone of the floor.

L'maret spotted Leora from behind and at first was content with watching her move down the corridor. Then only half realizing what he was doing he called out, "Leora!"

Leora turned enough to look at the brownrider over her shoulder. "I told you, L'maret:" she sounded tired and weak. "I can't do this anymore."

"Even if Kesta is out of the picture?" L'maret said, coming up close behind Leora, and laying a hand on her shoulder.

Leora turned her head back around. **Kesta is gone?** She didn't know what to think. On one hand, this cleared the way for the two of them. On the other, people got back together all the time. "I.. not right now, L'maret. Not yet."

"It's over," L'maret responded. It was the only thing he could think of to say. What did she mean by not ready, "If she had not left, I would have." He looked into Leora's face, hoping that her reaction would give him some indication as to what she was thinking.

But she would give him no reaction. Leora refused to even meet his eyes.
She was too afraid that if she did meet his gaze, she would lose her compsure and give in to him.

"Say something," L'maret urged, "it is _you_ that I want to be with after all."

"There was a time when you would have said that about Kesta!" Although passionate, she still didn't look up from the floor.

"Yes, when I was sixteen turns old," L'maret protested. Why was Leora being like this? Why wouldn't she ever agree to talk, or even look at him? "We have changed so much since then."

"L'maret..." She looked up.

"Yes?" the brownrider urged, looking directly into Leora's eyes. Shards he had forgotten how beautiful they were.

"... Nothing." Her eyes left his again.

"No tell me," L'maret insisted, touching her cheek compasionatly, then upon realizing what he had done, quickly removed his hand.

She cringed inside. She had been this way with K'mai, but it hadn't felt like this. This was different. She wanted to pull away, but couldn't.

"At least give us a chance," L'maret whispered, "can we talk at least?"

"We can talk." She would at least give him that much.

"I'd suggest my weyr. Its the most comfortable, but I have a feeling that you will not like that idea. Maybe the Dinning Cavern."

Leora nodded and allowed him to lead her away.

*~*

"She's really gone," L'maret said lamely, sipping his mug of klah. He and Leora were sitting in an isolated corner of the Dinning Cavern, "she took the children with her."

Leora didn't touch her klah. "I'm sorry." Her tone was totally neutral.

"You don't have to be. It needed to happen sooner or later. I wanted to talk about us though,"

"You're unbelievable," Leora shook her head. "Kesta hasn't been gone a sevenday and you're already finding someone else."

"Leora, please, understand. You're all I've been able to think about the last couple of sevendays. It's why things became so bad between us. She knew that I was thinking of someone else, and she could not stand it.
I could not stand it."

"L'maret. I _want_ to be with you. I _want_ to love you..." she opened and raised her hands and then dropped them in exasperation. "You're just making it very difficult."

"I'm making it difficult?" L'maret asked, stunned, "what do you mean?"

"I'm holdbred - that's synonymous with horribly conservative and I'm prepared to deal with a lot - the Flights and the thread and danger and you being gone most of the time and all of that, but I can't do this.
I can't sit here and hear you talk about how you're glad she's gone because now you can be with me and that I should just accept you and be in love! And you can't understand that!" She took a deep, shaky breath and waited for his response.

"I thought that its what you wanted. For me to end things with Kesta!"
L'maret was frustrated now, and confused. Why could she not simply say what she meant.

"I thought I did, too!" Leora started to cry. "But this isn't what I wanted at all!" Crying turned to sobbing and choked anything she had wanted to say.

L'maret got up from his seat across from Leora and moved around so that he was next to her. Putting a comnforting arm around her shoulder he begged, "Shards. Don't cry Leora. Please."

As much as she didn't want to, Leora clung to him and nestled herself on his shoulder. It was both pleasurable and painful for her to feel his arms around her and that only made her cry all the more. But, after half a candlemark of tears, Leora finally calmed herself enough to look L'maret in the eyes.

"Better now?" L'maret asked kindly glancing down at Leora as he brushed a stray strand of hair off of her tearstained cheeks.

"No." Leora laughed at herself. "But maybe I will be later."

"Good, I hate making women cry," L'maret grinned, sliding her slightly closer to his so that their legs were nearly touching.

Leora bit back the comment that leapt into her mouth; she didn't want to start crying again.

L'maret placed his arm around Leora's shoulder and gentley slid her body up against his where it seemed to fit naturally. Shards she smelt so good. Running his hands through her hair L'maret tried to resist the urge to kiss her. Even though he knew that he should not, L'maret could not resist. Tilting his head slightly he pressed his lips gentley against Leora's.

Leora immediately pulled away and pushed herself back from L'maret. She tried to say something but her mind was was too clouded; she had been right, earlier when she talked with K'mai, she _wasn't_ ready for this kind of thing and the fact that it was with L'maret and right after Kesta made Leora almost sick. Her eyes held all pain and betrayal that could force their way out from her lips.

"Shards," L'maret swore running his hands through his hair, "I'm so sorry Leora. I never should have done that."

Leora last look at L'maret was distorted by tears. Instead of the beautiful moment between lovers that Leora had dreamed about, her first kiss crystalized and confirmed all her misgivings about L'maret and what her role had been in his break up with Kesta. She wasn't crying simply because L'maret had betrayed her, but because she fully felt her guilt and shame. It was all she could do to make it out of the caverns at a half run.

"Leora, come back!" L'maret called running out of the Dinning Cavern after her, but it was too late and he could not catch up to her. Sinking to the ground he placed his head in his handes and tried his best not to cry at the mess he had made.

Last updated on the January 18th 2006

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