I Used to Wish

Writers: Devin, Suzee
Date Posted: 1st August 2013

Characters: N'vanik, R'enh
Description: Friends talk as friends do...
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 2, day 26 of Turn 7

N'vanik

R'enh

Through their dragons, N'vanik asked R'enh to join him in his favorite
shady spot on the beach.

It wasn't long before Mnornath deposited him on the beach and R'enh
slogged through the sand to where N'vanik sat. "What's up?"

N'vanik looked at him for a moment and sighed. "Rhosyn is pregnant."

There was no possibility it could be his for their friendship hadn't
gone there in ages so R'enh's brows twitched together. "Is it yours?"
That was about the only reason he could think of for the gold rider to
tell N'vanik about it before she broadcast the news.

"Maybe." N'vanik said, digging his fingers into the sand. "Mine or K'sedel's."

Of course the next question he didn't really want to ask but it had to
be done. It looked to him that N'vanik was a bit more morose than
usual over the news. "Is she keeping it?"

"Yeah, thank Faranth. I don't think I could go through that again." He
tried not to think about why it meant so much to him. "Though she's
not happy about it. She's scared."

R'enh nodded. He'd known Rhosyn a long time and this was certainly a
departure. "I can imagine she is. She's avoided it in the past you
know."

"She told me. I ... panicked a little bit, thinking she didn't want it
because it was mine." N'vanik could almost hear his father's voice,
telling him he was worthless.

"No," R'enh said softly. "I think she wants it _because_ it may be
yours. I think she loves you N'vanik."

"She sure doesn't act like it," N'vanik said, ignoring the flutter in
his stomach.

After so many turns R'enh new Rhosyn well and what he thought was the
most important person to Rhosyn was Rhosyn. Everything else orbited
around her. He doubted that a baby would change that in the least.
"She's essentially a self absorbed person N'vanik. But I've seen her
around you and I think she loves you as much as she can love anyone."

N'vanik sighed. If that was the best Rhosyn could give, he wasn't sure
he wanted it. "Well I'm kinda stuck with her now anyway. I'm gonna be
part of the baby's life even if I don't know for sure it's mine."

"And if she doesn't want to raise it, you bring it here," he said.
"Thats what I did with Zorenh. And he'll soon be old enough to Stand.
Here, with me." Of course Zorenh's mother had been a greenrider not a
Weyrwoman.

"She might not be motherly, but she _is_ possessive. Let me take the
son of a Weyrwoman and a Weyrleader? No way she's letting go of such
good Candidate material." He hadn't even considered raising the child
at Dolphin Cove. The thought gave him a pang. To be able to see it
every day, no time difference ...

"True," R'enh mused. He should have thought of that himself. But it
was still surprising to him that Rhosyn actually planned to carry the
babe to term. "You're right though, she won't let go of it. Would be
so much simpler if she were _your_ Weyrwoman."

The corner of N'vanik's mouth turned up. "I used to wish that."

"Only used to?" R'enh smiled.

"Before she started hiding things from me. Sunscorching, by Faranth's
egg." N'vanik wondered if she would've hid the pregnancy from him,
too. Well, she couldn't for long, Weyr rumors being what they were.
But would he have found out from else first? Could he trust her at
all?

"There is that," he said. R'enh briefly thought that now would be a
good time for an Ale but he was fairly sure there were none hiding in
the sand around them. So he got to his feet and offered N'vanik a
hand.

"I think we need a drink."

"That's a great idea." N'vanik took the offered hand.

Last updated on the August 3rd 2013

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I Used to Wish