Liability Insurance

Writers: Chelle, Miriah
Date Posted: 25th May 2014

Characters: E'rae, D'hol
Description: The bluerider has to tell his Wingleader.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 6, day 21 of Turn 7
Notes: Follows Go Away!
Mentioned: Bahji, Werenn

D'hol

He didn't trust himself. It was the same thing, over and over again. This
time, though, he hadn't even been able to bury the bodies! And he hadn't
known! After getting back from Sunstone, E'rae had gone to a quiet place but
the rage and the hurt and the grief were all over him, eating him up inside.
Knowing his duty, he thought it was best to be straight with his Wingleader,
though it wasn't great to start off on the wrong foot and he would probably
have to see the healers. So, after he had gotten himself into some semblance
of pulled together, he went to D'hol's office.

"Come in." D'hol's voice was brusque. He didn't even look up when the door
opened, but kept writing. "Have a seat."

The bluerider sat and waited quietly. It was hard for him to speak and he
wondered how he would get through this. It was something he had to do,
though.
He wasn't even worried about how D'hol was going to judge him since he didn't
know the man enough for it to matter to him. Nothing else really mattered
just then.

It took a few moments, but D'hol finished writing, put aside his hide and
finally looked up. His brow quirked. "E'rae." He sat up, flicking his gaze
over the man's expression. "What are you needing?"

"I was just told that my...two of my children have died. Before I came
here...another one was also lost. I am afraid that I....I was having
troubles flying before so it seemed a transfer but....I don't...I don't
know..." He was trying to keep it together but his control was fraying at
the edges and quickly. His dark eyes seemed to search the air, to try to
pull a reason out of nowhere for why this had happened to him. He didn't
look to D'hol to solve his problems, but his Wingleader needed to know he
was cracking. He wasn't safe.

D'hol didn't say anything immediately, but he had read the man's file about
his recent performance in his last wing, which wasn't completely
complimentary. He exhaled through his nose and drummed his fingers against
his desk, considering the man. "I see. I appreciate your honesty. " He rose,
fetched the klah pitcher and poured two cups, setting one across from him in
front of the bluerider. Sitting back down, he took a sip, pursed his lips
and spoke slowly. "We can't afford you to be a risk to the rest of the wing,
you realize. But..." He lifted a hand. "The riders in my wing are my
responsibility. Did you take time to grieve for the first child?"

"I had to take care of her. I buried the babe but I kept flying." He couldn't
really explain it any better than that. What was the proper time to take to
grieve? Was it a sevenday? A month? E'rae didn't know. He had done the best
he could with what he had. "I thought I was better and then the other two
were gone. And she was gone." Indeed, E'rae had lost his whole world except
Leith and Werenn. They were all he had now. But his world cracking apart was
effecting those relationships. It was too much stress for him at once.

"You shouldn't have." D'hol voice was firm. "You put your wing at risk and I
can't let you do that." He put down his cup and rested his arm on the desk.
"I can sympathize with your loss, E'rae, but not enough to let you keep
flying right now. I want you to take two sevendays to yourself. No drills,
no Thread. Give yourself time to grieve your loss. You're grounded. But this
isn't a punishment, E'rae. I want you to see a mindhealer. You'll continue
to see the mindhealer until he or she decides you do not need it any more."

He brought his head up to meet his new wingleader in the eyes. On some level
he had expected what D'hol was going to say. Right now, though, he wasn't
really processing. Not yet. "Yes sir." He didn't know the mindhealers here.
He knew where the Infirmary was, so he could ask. He didn't relish someone
picking apart his brain, but he had tried on his own. He couldn't fix this.
He was broken. So he would let them try.

"I want a report before the end of the two sevendays, E'rae." D'hol's voice
was calm, but firm. "But for right now, I want you to take this time for
yourself. The wing needs you whole."

"A report from the healers?" He didn't know what sort of report he could
write, after all. He wasn't any sort of writer. No, he had been a hunter-a
rider. Now he was just lost. Nothing made sense. His brain was foggy, but
yet there was so much anger.

"Yes. I'll expect a report from your mindhealer when they deem you ready
enough for full duty."

"Oh...understood." He supposed the mindhealers would know that anyway.
E'rae realized he had no more to say. He'd done what he came here to do.
All he wanted to do just then was go to his weyr and disappear from the
world. Talking to people and being around them and their happiness was just
too much.

"Very well. I'll be expecting it."

Last updated on the June 2nd 2014

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