Not this Time
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Jane
Date Posted: 1st July 2007
Characters: O'rian
Description: Odarian rethinks his decision to Stand after failing to Impress.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 4, day 16 of Turn 4
There was a wealth of difference between knowing something and really living it, the dark haired, blue-eyed young man thought as he slipped away from the meal after the Hatching.
There had been mixed emotions about everything – the hopefulness of the Hatching couldn't disguise the fact that all the eggs weren't there, nor could the weyrfolk sitting in the Stands forget that less than a month before the huge expanse of Sand before them had been underwater.
So, some people had Impressed. There had been no hatchlings left to die for the lack of a lifemate.
Odarian hadn't Impressed and he wanted to just accept it but his mind was busy with excuses – Had his dragon had been in one of the eggs that had been lost or failed to hatch? But his heart was just sore with disappointment.
Other people in his family had Impressed. His father and mother, both, and that at a time when there had been far fewer clutches – though as he thought that his attitude swung like a weather vane. Did they Impress because there were so few candidates for those clutches to choose from?
Had he not Impressed because there were so many choices for the hatchlings? Might he have Impressed if he had been one of a much smaller group?
But that was unfair to the hatching dragons. He'd been told that forever. They needed to be able to choose the _best_ match. He just hadn't been the best match for any of the hatchlings that cracked shell this time.
At the top of the stairs he paused, listening for a moment to the noise rising up the stairwell from the dining cavern. Even the meal – a feast, usually – was different. Not enough to eat and dragons having to hunt. The fifteen Turn olds flying against Thread. Everything had been disrupted by the hurricane that had flooded them. _Everything_.
Perhaps even his chances of ever Impressing if the one dragon that was meant for him had been lost.
He rubbed his forehead, trying to convince his brain to stop analysing the day ... He didn't even subscribe to the theory that there was only one right dragon for each person. It made no sense to him, and yet here he was using it as an excuse.
He heard footsteps on the stairs and headed away down the corridor toward his room and away from anybody who might be following him. His father or his foster-mother. Or little Grehga, no doubt more than ready to commiserate in her blunt way and probably talk him around to a better humour.
The reality was he didn't want to be talked around. Not yet. He wanted to be disappointed and miserable a little longer. Tomorrow was soon enough to get on with life. To get back to being a healer, which is what he would be forever if he decided not to Stand again.
It didn't seem like a good time to decide such a thing and so his determination no to put him through the heartache again was tempered with a sensible acknowledgement that he might well change his mind. In the morning ... in the next sevenday or so. Next month. And until he was _sure_ again he was keeping his mouth closed. No running off to the Headwoman asking to be removed from the list of Candidates; no doubt that happened a lot, especially the first time a Candidate was disappointed.
Perhaps it was easier when one was twelve Turns old.
Perhaps the first failure wasn't ever easy.
He reached his room with a sense of relief. He didn't have to talk to anybody. What was there to say, anyway? He hadn't Impressed. There was no incredible new life starting for him.
Not today.
Not this time.
Last updated on the July 1st 2007